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I'm wondering how many men or women had young children, financial/business failures and near age 40 when they started the affairs?

We have no children and are both in stable financially rewarding jobs. We have been married 25 yrs. he is 48.

I can honestly say that I have noticed signs of a mid life crisis over the past 2 yrs. purchasing lots of boy toys, staying out partying on Friday nights with work buddies and coming home drunk, or passing out where he was partying. Generally acting like he did in his 20's. then the purchase of the midlife crisis car. I thought it was a phase so didn't worry. The EA was really just the topping on a couple of really shitty years on his part.

I seemed to mature....he seemed to go in reverse!

young children: yes

financial crisis: no...but WS was in crappy job situation so kind of.

near 40:yes, just shy of it.

YES...YES..and YES.

Affirmative on all three counts.

Kids 6 and 8, not near 40, but near 50 for him. Although we've been struggling financially since 2008, we're doing better than ever.

We do have 4 children all 6 and under..

We aren't hurting but we could be better financially. We save a bit each month but I wouldn't say we are overly comfortable.

Neither of us are near 40.

yes to the trifecta.

Young children, yes.

Financially we weren't great, but he was doing great career wise, promotion, etc.

He was 30 when he had his first affair. 35 when it all stopped.

Young children, financially stable ( able without a struggle , or me knowing,give her$$), not satisfied in job, thought could be doing better,( not sure if this was to cover mood changes I noticed and brought to his attention), approaching 50 and wanting more!!!..

We have 3 kids, youngest is 8. Finances stretched. Told me ILYBINILWY at 42 (approx 3 years ago). I have worked really hard since to make marriage better, to be more submissive, but one person can't fix it. He was diagnosed with low t and started injections. Started working out, over concerned with his appearance and grooming, loss of interest in family, emotionally detached, blamed me for everything, moody, angered easily, and total selfishness. I should have pursued divorce 3 years ago, but desperately wanted to work through our problems. But staying has only made it worse on our kids I think in some ways. But at least I can tell them I tried everything to save our family. I am now being demonized by him and his family. Our oldest 2 kids want nothing to do with him. I just want the pain to end and some peace. This "mid-life" madness is not for the faint at heart and not what I ever imagined. Do they ever realize and take responsibility for what they have done and at least try and rebuild a relationship with their kids?

No kids, average finances with no real problems, he was 34 when behavior started.

For him, it was actually kind of the opposite. Right when we got everything we wanted, he started acting out. Literally like, 8 weeks later.

Financial failures - yes

Near 40- yes (41)

Young children - Not young, 14 and 11 which means that family time becomes less and less as they need us less and less and persue their own interests.....leaves a gap to fill (for him to persue his own interests) !

Kids were 7 and barely 3. He was 43. I was led to believe we were in good financial shape, but once I filed for D I found out otherwise and was not only hit with his romantic infidelity but his financial infidelity. It was clear that he started gambling and the $30,000 in secret credit card debt didn't lie.

So, yes on all three counts.

No financial failures, but a stressful job transition. An upwards transition, but stressful nonetheless.

And "yes" on the other two. We're neither of us quite 40, but close enough.

When it first started. He was 47, I was 51. Our son was 16years old. We were financially stable. He was, though, unhappy & bored in his job. He used to work from home one day a week & surf the net - say no more.

She stepped out just after she turned 50.

Our kids were then 16, 14 and 11.

Financially we were doing great.

I'm sure there are plenty that can answer YES, YES, and YES to these questions however I don't think there is any special group or set of characteristics that really make this more (or less) likely to happen.

I don't think finances were a factor in my first M, though we had young kids and he started cheating early in our M when he was in his 20's.

In my current M, we were in late 40's, had no children left at home, and yes we had some finanicial issues (or at least were fighting because of stuff he was doing (lying and deceiving me about his spending).

Hubby was 35, just lost his position at work, I lost my job, and we had two young boys. Truthfully he never adjusted from the role of husband to father. That's when I noticed him starting to act out with his spending.

Kids all above 8 yrs of age, financial ruin..CHECK, IN 40'S..CHECK

First affair he was 28, no kids, and we were rocking financially.

Last A he was 40, 2 school aged kids, and we were doing terribly financially.