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Rabecca (original poster member #41076) posted at 6:40 PM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2013
I am so furious. I was asking my kids about what they did and how their day went and it sounds like he may have taken them to meet the OW. We had talked before and it was agreed that children would not meet other people until the other parent had a chance to meet them. Then my 5 year old thinks he is in trouble because apparently Daddy told them not to tell Mommy. Why would he do this when he knows it would hurt me? Why would he put his children in this situation by telling them not to tell me? I read about the fog but does it really make a WS that stupid? Is he doing it to hurt me? On Halloween I was totally stupid and slept with him so the following Monday I asked him if he had slept with her because if he had I needed to be tested. He said no they ‘still haven’t gotten to that point in their relationship’ and ‘I wouldn’t need to worry about that anyways’. I told him I couldn’t trust that and even though he responded ‘fair enough’ I feel that he may be upset with me for implying anything. Could he be retaliating for that? I thought I had been doing so well with the 180 and then I completely slipped and now I feel like I am at the bottom of the heap again.
D day August 13, 2013
Me: 29
WH: 28
Together 13 years married 7 years
3 kids (5,3,10 months)
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 8:05 PM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2013
You can't trust him no matter what he tells you. That's what it comes down to. No, they don't care if it hurts you. No, they don't care if it negatively impacts the children. They do what they want, when they want and with whom they want. That's all that matters to them.
Also, stop having sex with him. It's not helping your situation and you are exposing yourself to possibly catching an STD every time.
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
Rabecca (original poster member #41076) posted at 9:05 PM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2013
I know, it was stupid. It won't happen again that is for sure. The contradictions are just driving me made. He doesn't hate me, he still cares about me but he knows doing that will hurt me. He before has needed to run 'errands' to work but didn't want to bring kids with him because to get into the office he has to walk by where people that were just arrested are held. Yet, he will take them every Tuesday? A day she is working? Does he really think I am that stupid? Or am I really reading too much into everything? Am I letting my hurt feelings and feelings of betrayal cloud everything?
D day August 13, 2013
Me: 29
WH: 28
Together 13 years married 7 years
3 kids (5,3,10 months)
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