Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: FaithGrace

Divorce/Separation :
coping

This Topic is Archived
default

 khrisdeus (original poster new member #41265) posted at 3:16 PM on Monday, November 11th, 2013

I'm trying so hard to cope with this. She's the one who did this. The one who wanted a divorce. But things just keep getting uglier and uglier. She's lying to my boss to try to get me fired now. All because she went off with OM, and I refused to be her emotional and financial support until she was able to get stable enough for an amicable divorce. I'm now the bad guy because I hired an attorney and filed. It doesn't make sense..... she even refuses to leave the home. I can't have space from her, despite her wanting out of the marriage?

posts: 44   ·   registered: Nov. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 6557535
default

thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 3:52 PM on Monday, November 11th, 2013

I'm so sorry. It's hard enough dealing with this shit but then they have to pull more shit. It's never enough for someone like her and xpos. Xpos still pulling stuff and we've been D for more than 1-1/2 yrs! It's like they will never be happy unless they can feel like they have totally destroyed us. Anything to feel like they have the upper hand. Has she always been controlling of you and the relationship?

Hang in there, brother. You've got understanding and support here..

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

posts: 5033   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: the Other Side
id 6557577
default

careerlady ( member #16958) posted at 5:29 PM on Monday, November 11th, 2013

They get so caught up in creating a narrative to justify their cheating that they buy into it and have the nerve to get angry at us. It's really unbelievable gall. But you will pull through this, we all will. Just keep reminding yourself that she's a sick controlling cake eater like the rest of them

Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

posts: 949   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2007   ·   location: Northern California
id 6557694
default

IrishLass518 ( member #34373) posted at 5:56 PM on Monday, November 11th, 2013

I find that they create this mess, blame us for it and then push the buttons they installed in order for us to react so they can say "See? Crazy. Therefore I was justified". It is how they can spin it to make themselves look and feel better about the wrong they know they have done.

Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

posts: 1858   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: WA
id 6557725
default

 khrisdeus (original poster new member #41265) posted at 10:32 PM on Monday, November 11th, 2013

Despite everything, it's getting harder and harder to maintain no communication with her. Being off work today it's taken conscious effort to not reach out to her as my best friend for the last 9 years.

posts: 44   ·   registered: Nov. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 6558112
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy