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Sam793 (original poster member #37081) posted at 5:16 PM on Thursday, November 14th, 2013
Though we are further along at this point and have discussed some aspects of our current and future relationship, my BW and I still have a ways to go. I'm sure that my BW still can't grasp the relationship my AP and I had as to her it doesn't seem real or possible. The outstanding questions are still how, why, and why so quickly. These coupled with the way the A ended still consume by BW. I have addressed them. Explained them. Spent time digging at them. The broad answer is I had the opportunity and wanted to but that's just the surface. I still need to address how I could ignore my vows, my family, my ethics, and have an A just to make me feel better about myself. My life was far from bad and even better compared to others. I can't blame my BW as any issue that may have risen in our M 95% of the time was caused by something I did or didn't do.
I just need to spend a lot of time thinking of what happened to see what led up to starting an A. This is one big feat. Making it a project may help me look at it a different way. I really want to help my BW to help our M and family.
Me: 38 BS: 33
3 y/o DD and one new DS
Married: 9 years
3.5yr A
Status: Each day I find more of how I screwed up
confetticheck ( new member #38676) posted at 6:22 PM on Thursday, November 14th, 2013
Wasn't much fun digging up all the muck that led to me being so twisted up inside. Well worth it though, I'm starting to be the man my wife married again. It feels great!
Keep push'n Sam
Me - WH
Her - BW
Married 20 yrs, 3 kids
DDay - 17 Nov '12 (5 month PA)
Life's tough, it's tougher when your stupid.
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 3:56 AM on Sunday, November 17th, 2013
You guys are doing a great job. It's a lot of work, but the payoff is a lifetime of being proud of yourself and being someone your family can rely on.
Keep it up. 
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
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