This Topic is Archived
tamarack (original poster member #14554) posted at 12:18 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2013
Haven't been on an SI in a very long time so I wanted to check back in.
Really don't have much of an update. Still working insane hours just trying to make ends meet, trying my best to take care of two children who are growing like weeds and eating me out of house and home. Good news is that I'm now working from home telecommuting to work, so I no longer spend two hours a day sitting in rush hour traffic. But that's my life in a nut shell, my kids and my job.
Nothing new with XH either. Other than an occasion email to the kids about how much he loves them and misses them, none of us have had any contact with him in years. In this case, that's a very good thing. And yes, he remains a complete deadbeat.
I also wanted to offer some hope for those of you who are just staring out on this journey. It is ROUGH! Even now, 6 1/2 years after dday, there are days when I wonder how in the world I'm going to do it all by myself. Fact is, I don't do it all, I just try to do the best I can.
Life now is infinitely easier than it was six years ago. I cannot thank my friends at SI enough for carrying me through the first few years. You laughed with me. You cried with me. You encouraged me when I felt like giving up. You were there for me every step of the way, making me who I am today. My wounds have healed and the scars serve as a permanent reminder that I did survive infidelity .
Me: 44 WH: almost 60, sociopath
OW: 56-year-old nutcase
married 10 years, 2 kids (14 & 15)
DDay: 5/2/07
divorced
"I had no back up plan. Just freefalling till I landed" - TrainerCarrie
ArkLaMiss ( member #14918) posted at 12:35 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2013
Hiya! So what became of the property and all that stuff, Tam? Did you EVER get back cs from him? Oh, and what abt yhe crazy ow?
Glad you and kids are ok!
Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?
caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 12:43 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2013
I still think about you and I am GLAD to see you!!
Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012
betrayedfriend ( member #19785) posted at 1:07 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2013
Glad to see you and hear everything is going well Tam!
I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.
risingfromashes ( member #3903) posted at 1:29 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2013
Thank you so much for the update!
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 1:56 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2013
I'm glad you checked in. I was thinking about you recently.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
cantlivewithouth ( member #11939) posted at 2:42 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2013
Holy Crow! I was just thinking about you yesterday! I'm so glad you checked in! Happy to hear you are doing well. 
Married a truly wonderful and loving man Sept. 19, 2010. Not only survived, but thrived.
My new mantra: Argue Your Limitations.
Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 3:11 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2013
FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."
travels ( member #20334) posted at 3:21 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2013
I was thinking of you the other day.
I take it your Ex hasn't sent the kids any dirty toys for Christmas presents lately?
When one door closes, another door opens. It's the journey through the hallway that sucks.
"After a breakup, the loyal one stays single and deals with the damages until healed. The other one is already in another relationship."
tamarack (original poster member #14554) posted at 1:11 AM on Saturday, November 16th, 2013
No contact from XH in several years other than an occasional email to the kids. Which they ignore, neither of them wants anything to do with him
The house in Idaho is in foreclosure. They missed way too many mortgage payments, and I'm certainly in no position to pay a huge chunk of money I don't have only to wind up with a big property I cannot possibly afford At least foreclosure will break the last hold he has over me, which has been a noose hanging over my head pretty much since dday. Yes, my credit will be destroyed, but at least I can start fresh.
Me: 44 WH: almost 60, sociopath
OW: 56-year-old nutcase
married 10 years, 2 kids (14 & 15)
DDay: 5/2/07
divorced
"I had no back up plan. Just freefalling till I landed" - TrainerCarrie
FirstLoveGone ( member #25957) posted at 4:43 AM on Saturday, November 16th, 2013
Nice to see an update from you. There are so many stories I follow that I lose track of posters sometimes. But I remember your story well.
Thanks for checking in.
ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 3:36 PM on Saturday, November 16th, 2013
Hey, Tam.
Great to hear from you!
I think about you every Christmas - you know, the old toys via the mail incident.
Glad to hear you're hanging in there!
AJ's MOM
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34
tamarack (original poster member #14554) posted at 9:38 PM on Saturday, November 16th, 2013
I think about you every Christmas - you know, the old toys via the mail incident.
I still laugh about it every Christmas. He no longer sends them any presents
Me: 44 WH: almost 60, sociopath
OW: 56-year-old nutcase
married 10 years, 2 kids (14 & 15)
DDay: 5/2/07
divorced
"I had no back up plan. Just freefalling till I landed" - TrainerCarrie
This Topic is Archived
