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MakingLemonade (original poster member #41143) posted at 9:30 PM on Thursday, November 21st, 2013
One of the many things I hate about the aftermath of my story is the personal loss of innocence. From my own research and XWH's partial SA admissions and As, I know far more about sexual perversion than I care to. From STIs (formerly known as STDs), to CL, prostitution, and other hook up methods, to methods of deceiving, to personality disorders. My mind is filled with so much muck and disgust! I wish I could wash my brain out with bleach.
Me: 40's; XBS Him: 40's; XWS/NPD/SA
D-day 1: 5/2007- A #1; 7/2007 A #1 continued-R
D-day 2: 3/2013 A #2/multi-ONSs; 4/2013 A #2 continues to present
D: 7/2013 (25 yrs together; days shy of 22nd anniversary-GOAL MET!)
Our kids: teen & tween
GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 9:35 PM on Thursday, November 21st, 2013
I can completely relate to this.
XWH and I married young, but he had already been exposed to a lot of things as a child/teen (inappropriate uncle who liked to show him porn and talk about the women he was cheating with, etc). XWH was watching porn regularly before he was in high school. Unforunately, though I knew SOME of this, at 18yrs of age, I had no clue what the ramifications could be.
Fast forward a few years when watching porn no longer did it for XWH and you have the makings of my personal hell and loss of innocence.
I learned about so many disgusting things that I can never un-see.
Craigslist, Adult Friend Finder, MySpace crap, even relationships with coworkers that fall far outside the boundaries of professional. XWH used to get a kick out of calling me over to the computer to show me some disgusting piece of porn, then laugh at my reaction.
Klassy.
Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
HurtButHopeful? ( member #25144) posted at 1:14 AM on Friday, November 22nd, 2013
Yes, MakingLemonade. In search of answers of how to heal from an A, we get to read all about the sordid world of adultery, perversity, and dishonesty. I know how you feel.
HBH
Resources for R:
His Needs Her Needs, by Dr. Willard Harley
Love Busters, by Dr. Willard Harley
(for husbands) Becoming the Ultimate Husband, by Reb Bradley
whattheh ( member #40032) posted at 3:07 AM on Friday, November 22nd, 2013
Retired & now in 60's-M 39 Yrs-DD 2013-TT for 3 yrs (new details incl there had been 3 more MOWs)--all this started with porn use for mid 50s WH (felt he was possessed)~~Cheating and aftermath is huge time waste with high opportunity cost~~
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