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She hasn't seen her father since June. They don't talk, he makes a piss poor effort and she sees right through his lame ass attempts to connect with her. Makes me sad but I cannot be responsible for his mess anymore.

I got an email yesterday "FYI"

(This was email number 3 of four harassing emails from the past couple of days. It included a screenshot of the notice from FB with the picture in question!)

Just thought I'd share this with you.

13 apparently flagged a photo of herself with her cousins as pornography/nudity/harassment.

The Dooosh

Background is -- 13 had a friend who noticed the Dooosh changed his Facebook profile pic to one of her and his nieces. A few months ago he blocked her from his page for posting that he was clogging her feed with crap because all of his posts were, according to 13, links to articles about parental alienation, abused husband syndrome, recovering from a narc, etc... Insinuating that I had been those in our marriage. So she didn't see it when he posted but once she knew she was very unhappy.

This photo was taken 2 years ago on our last family vacation, at a pool, with her in a bathing suit. She is bending down to put her arms around these girls (whom she has met all of 3 times) so the front of her suit pops open a little bit. She was completely embarrassed! Especially since one of her classmates pointed it out.

She texted him and asked him to remove this picture. I was not involved in any of it, but she says she asked plainly and he basically said it was a cute pic. ??? He still has the picture as his profile photo. Someone reported it (I don't know if it was her since she doesn't have access to his page) and he assumed it was her.

I am at a loss here. First, what a prick. Second, how do I help her with this? Third, why in the hell does he need to "share this" with me?? As if I'm going to take his side??

She is so hurt by his behavior - and while she is quickly learning what a complete asshole he is, I feel terrible and of course want to do something. But then I don't want to say anything either! It's not like he is going to say "oh PR you are right, I'm damaging our child by not taking her feelings into consideration. I'll take it down!"

Ugh!!

[This message edited by PurpleRose at 11:17 PM, November 27th (Wednesday)]

Apparently your XH is communicating via Facebook post. Sounds like a good time to post a link to the legal consequences of possessing and distributing (via Facebook) child pornography. A guy in our area just got 3 years and thousands of dollars in fines for exactly that.

ETA

Feel free to reassure DD that if she was the one to flag the photo, she was completely within her rights.

[This message edited by Gemini71 at 11:26 PM, November 27th (Wednesday)]

I wouldn't say a thing to her about it-until she said something to me. But I would find a way to let her know that you support her no matter what happens between her and the sperm donor! Sometimes that's all we can do.

Hugs Mama,

K

Ignore him and tell your daughter that you understand her feelings.

Frankly if it bothers her he should take it down, but I think accusing him of kiddie porn is a bit much.

Facebook has procedures in place for if people post photos of you without your concent. She has every right to follow these procedures. You would think her own father would care enough to NOT put embarrassing pics of his kids on FB against their wishes, but aparently he's a complete asshole. I hope FB bans him.

I don't think anyone is accusing him of kiddie porn. My understanding is that when you flag a photo you have to choose a "reason". Porn/nudity/harassment... From his screenshot, it looks like that is all one category.

If it was her, my guess is she was going with "harassment" since this Doosh doesn't give her the time of day but constantly likes to make it seem like he is Daddy of the Year by tagging the kids in his posts (which she apparently also called him out for.. Like Why am I tagged in your picture when I haven't even seen you in months? I was not there!)

She should block him so he can't tag her anymore.

Kitty, she can't block him. He already blocked her, so that's taken care of.

OW blocked me before I could get to her but I found out I could block her facebook email address and associated cell phone number. If you look in privacy settings there is a place to block those.

((DD13))

He didn't ask a question related to child-care arrangements or necessary finances, so no answer needed.