This Topic is Archived
dmari (original poster member #37215) posted at 4:04 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013
DD18 will be traveling to NZ to visit her boyfriend and his family. Do I need to inform stbx? We are not divorced; stbx walked out; DD18 has not seen or spoken to him in a year; stbx pays child support; temp court orders states I have sole physical custody and joint legal custody.
The only stuff about the kids I inform him about is change in medications.
If I do need to inform him, how far in advance should I do it? How much information do I share? He doesn't even know she has a boyfriend.
Thank you!
Gajit ( member #40665) posted at 4:10 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013
I wouldn't tell him. She is 18, isn't that considered an adult?
Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.
Lostandpregnant ( member #41433) posted at 4:10 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013
^^ That.
She's a legal adult. No need to tell him anything.
He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.
dmari (original poster member #37215) posted at 4:33 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013
Thank you Gajit and Lostandpregnant! I wasn't sure if I should since he is paying child support (temp court orders).
GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 4:36 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013
I agree. She's 18 and legally an adult.
I wouldn't tell him a darned thing (unless your DD decides to do it herself).
Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
JustDone ( member #9742) posted at 4:44 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013
I agree with everyone, don't tell him.
Madhatter
Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.
Lostandpregnant ( member #41433) posted at 4:47 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013
How old does she have to be before the child support for her stops? (Just out of curiosity)
He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.
dmari (original poster member #37215) posted at 6:21 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013
Thank you for the extra reassurances!! I really appreciate it!
Lostandpregnant: Stbx is draggggging his ass so we are going by the temporary court orders which states he has to pay "family support". In a recent settlement offer, he has agreed to pay child support until she is 24 though but I don't know if he is going to change is mind. Quite likely. Both kiddos have needs and the probability that DD18 will be "semi-independent" (employable, etc) by 24 is questionable.
I noticed one of your children has ASD (that is one of DD18's disability) ~ I'm not sure where you are at getting child support but I would keep child support for the child with ASD "open" or "reserved" because you just never know what their level of functioning will be as an "adult".
Hang in there. You have a lot on your shoulders. Bless you and all your little ones!
Lostandpregnant ( member #41433) posted at 6:35 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013
Ah ok. That makes sense. My son is from my first marriage, so there's nothing I can do in regards to his stepfather bailing, although it has been very very hard on him (major regression after we've worked SO hard..it is awful).
He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.
Griefstricken25 ( member #29183) posted at 11:29 PM on Monday, December 2nd, 2013
She's a legal adult. I wouldn't tell him a thing.
Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011
This Topic is Archived
