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BAB61 (original poster member #41181) posted at 2:21 PM on Saturday, December 7th, 2013
He's packing as I type. He's going to move up to NY to stay with a friend. I just asked if he was going to see OW from Aug '13. he said no ... lololol
He admitted to 10years of affairs this afternoon when I told him I wanted a divorce since he couldn't be honest with me and I found the second affair.
Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.
devistatedmom ( member #24961) posted at 2:40 PM on Saturday, December 7th, 2013
It sounds like you are standing strong Bab. You have made your decision and he knows you aren't playing games. Just remember to look after you this weekend. Water, food, water. Then some more water.
Hopefully he gets that you won't be his puppet anymore while he does whatever he wants.
BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.
Take2 ( member #23890) posted at 3:09 PM on Saturday, December 7th, 2013
BAB, this works well for you. Don't have to see his face - no physical target present when the rage hits. My X did something similar, fessed up to Multiple A's, delivered in monotone. Sorting through it all is hard. Take care of your needs, be gentle with yourself.
And change the locks after he goes (you can say it is for safety reasons, a woman living on her own...) Right now he is likely in shock, when he thinks things through and consults a lawyer he may change his mind and move back in.
First thing you want to secure is sole use of the house and CS. But for now stay silent:
"Never interrupt the enemy when he is making a mistake!" Bonaparte
eta: you have the option of filing for fault in Delaware... document those facebook exchanges before they disappear - which will be very very soon!
[This message edited by Take2 at 9:12 AM, December 7th (Saturday)]
"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?
BAB61 (original poster member #41181) posted at 3:40 PM on Saturday, December 7th, 2013
I already thought of changing the locks ... as soon as he's gone I'm going to Home Depot! Great minds!
Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.
newlysingle ( member #38735) posted at 5:21 PM on Saturday, December 7th, 2013
I'm glad you're being strong too. I agree with seeing an attorney ASAP and getting exclusive use of the home. You can change the locks, however he could still get a locksmith to open it for him. Just be aware of that.
BW - Me (40)
XWH -The Gnat
"Engaged" to OW, but the wedding appears to be indefinitely postponed.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (8), 1 DS (3)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13
BAB61 (original poster member #41181) posted at 3:21 AM on Sunday, December 8th, 2013
I took pictures of the fb messages, and have them in different areas. Since he is out of the house at least until Thurs I have some time. I will be talking to the Vet Center tomorrow, and the JAG too to find out what I can do and can't do. Since he left voluntarily today, I may be able to use that against him. I'll find out more after some sleep. Monday can't come soon enough.
Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.
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