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risingfromashes (original poster member #3903) posted at 11:48 PM on Sunday, December 15th, 2013
Forgot to add Task
Last night was the first major snowstorm of the season. This was a first for me in My new home. At some point, during the storm, there was some sleet so the snow developed a thick crust and weighed a ton.
Normally the ex would have taken care of it with his huge snow blower (I will not mention his need to compensate). In addition, I had injured my rotator cuff a few years ago but I have worked really hard to rehab it. I have been feeling really strong! After a few minutes of just staring at the snow I got to work. The shoulders felt fine.
About halfway done I began to smile. 
I think I may have even laughed out-loud! 
You got this, Rising!
This is my home and I can take care of it. My life is so much better with out him that I can actually feel happy in the freezing cold shoveling a ton heavy snow!
I felt so joyful and grateful standing there, shovel in hand, snot dripping out of my nose, appreciating my independance.
[This message edited by risingfromashes at 5:50 PM, December 15th (Sunday)]
suckstobeme ( member #30853) posted at 11:57 PM on Sunday, December 15th, 2013
Good for you!!!!!!!
I remember when exWH first left, a good friend of mine who had been D for several years already said, "you're going to be amazed at what you can accomplish without a man."
She's right. In the three years he's been gone, I've refinished my back deck, remodeled two bathrooms, dealt with floods in the basement, weed whacked the crap out of the yard, had a new furnace installed, and on and on and on. Just today, we got our live Christmas tree which I carried off the top of my car and set up with the help of my 71 year old mom.
All of it feels great. Even when something breaks or there is an unexpted crisis, I calm my self down by telling myself that exWH would have been useless in that situation anyway.
You can do this and your sense of pride at taking care of your own beautiful home will only grow stronger with every improvement or repair you accomplish!!!!!!!
BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 1:18 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 1:24 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
I am SO FREAKIN PROUD of you!!!!!!!!
You are awesome.
Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 1:51 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
I felt so joyful and grateful standing there, shovel in hand, snot dripping out of my nose, appreciating my independance.
That's a pretty picture! Yea you, rising!
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 2:17 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
Nailed it! We can do so much .
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
phmh ( member #34146) posted at 2:54 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
Great job!
I can't help but think of a line from a song I used to sing in Girl Scouts "take that frown and turn it upside down." What a great start to the week!
Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!
Married: 11 years, no kids
Character is destiny
IrishLass518 ( member #34373) posted at 2:54 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
I have put a new stereo in my car, taken my son camping for 4 nights, worked for a year and a half at a quick lube and yes I changed the oil. I have discovered that I am very capable of doing things that are normally done by a guy. I love that my son sees me accomplish these things.
Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"
brightsidegirl ( new member #41664) posted at 3:09 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
Good for you!
I also had a similar moment when I took apart the vacuum cleaner to put the belt back on. Best of all, I taught my DS10 how to do it for the next time!
We are so capable if given the chance and bit of confidence. And each time we accomplish something like this, we gain more confidence! Yay us!
I tried to be everything you'd ever want and sometimes I even stood on my heart and stomped. Now I'm finally alone and dressed for the show but going nowhere.
--Sara Bareilles
MyVoice ( member #35695) posted at 11:36 AM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
Me:BW 46, Him:WH 50
two kids DD14 and DS17
Married 26 years
OW 28, crew member (he was the ships captain)
"People are formed by their actions, not their ideals" unknown
nutmegkitty ( member #33882) posted at 2:04 PM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
Me - happy!
2 DDs
Very happily divorced from an NPD since 2013.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 2:24 PM on Monday, December 16th, 2013
Woot! WTG rising!!!
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
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