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teeghan (original poster member #40859) posted at 1:30 AM on Wednesday, December 18th, 2013
I am going through a lot. MY oldest is staying with her dad for now she will be 16 next month and while the kids and I are in the battered shelter etc. BUt she has helped me through so much over the phone and prayed for me and just been there. I tell her thank you and I love her and appreciate her so much but to me it is not enough words to really express how I truly feel.
Any one have words I can put down to add to a letter I am writing her for Christmas to let her know just how proud of her and how thankful I have become of her support.
Dreamboat ( member #10506) posted at 1:49 AM on Wednesday, December 18th, 2013
Start with how much you love her, of course. And then move on to how much you appreciate all she has done and how proud you are of how she is handling things and how proud you are of how much responsibility and maturity that she has shown. I know that as a teenager those sorts of words would have meant a lot to me (and I was by no mean mature or responsible so I did not deserve them).
I am not sure if you have a plan right now to get back onto your feet and reunite the family. But if you do then share that with her.
And then give her permission to be a kid and a teenager. I am sure she is worried about you and I have seen that teenagers seem to feel things with more intensity than older folks. So she may be having a hard time letting go of the worry so she can enjoy herself hanging out with her friends and doing silly stuff. So encourage her to do that because she deserves to have fun. At the same time let her know that you are strong enough to handle the burdens and while you appreciate her support, she does not need to take any of the burden.
HTH
((((teeghan & DD))))
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine
caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 1:59 AM on Wednesday, December 18th, 2013
Sixteen is a "milestone" age. Recognize that and the gateway that it is to maturity/adulthood. Praise your DD for the maturity and responsibility you see in her. Encourage her and praise her for her future choices as well, based on what she is now for how you see her "growing up."
Just knowing that you are proud of her, and that you love her and appreciate her is enormous.
I love the letter as a gift. It is a treasure and I hope she will receive it with all the grace in which it is offered.
Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012
Dreamland ( member #40488) posted at 4:57 AM on Wednesday, December 18th, 2013
Sending hugs.. My girl
was 16 when all our shit went down. She was more mature than me... And she was strong for me too.
Tell her thanks for helping you during the bad times and it was great counting on her but she can go back to being a teenager since your now ready to be the full time mom. Let her go out with her friends and have fun. And hug and kiss her.
Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore
teeghan (original poster member #40859) posted at 5:52 PM on Monday, December 23rd, 2013
Thank you all for your advise I have almost finished my letter and will have it to her soon :)
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