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Clarrissa (original poster member #21886) posted at 4:41 PM on Saturday, December 21st, 2013
Of how much progress I've made in the last 5 years.
Yesterday at work we received our bonus (6% of our gross income 
) and at first I was just going to deposit it in the bank, not say anything to my H. You know, a surprise, even though he knew it was coming. But, I told him I got it. So yeah, I told him bonuses were in but it crossed my mind to keep the dollar amount to myself, still a little bit of a surprise. Nope, couldn't keep that to myself either. I told him the exact amount.
I've told him every time before this but what's different about this time was I immediately dismissed the idea of keeping the info from him. I even told myself "Nah, you'll tell him." I never seriously considered NOT telling him.
BH Cee64D - 50
FWW (me) - 51
All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.
mindbody ( member #27941) posted at 7:10 PM on Saturday, December 21st, 2013
Congrats Clarrissa, it is progress. You adjusted your thought processes and applied transparency on your own.
I immediately dismissed the idea of keeping the info from him.
Sounds as though it is becoming a habit. I can see the value to complete honesty all the time. The fact that you feel good about
Nope, couldn't keep that to myself either.
demonstrates your healing.
knightsbff ( member #36853) posted at 7:21 PM on Saturday, December 21st, 2013
Yep, sounds like progress to me. Identifying and changing old, unhealthy thought processes. Good for you!
fWW 40s, BH 40s
D-day 27 Aug 2012. Kids 25, 17, 13. 2 dogs.
I edit often to fix stuff ☺️
Profoundly grateful Every. Single. Day. that I am blessed with an H with strength, integrity, and compassion, and that he decided to try.
Clarrissa (original poster member #21886) posted at 8:22 PM on Saturday, December 21st, 2013
I *did* want it to be a surprise and it was to some extent, even to me considering I was off work for a couple months early this year (workers comp injury to my wrist). What I had envisioned was dropping the check in the bank and waiting for H to check the balance (which he does more often lately as finances have been a bit tight) and surprising him that way but as it turned out, I told him the first chance I had once I had check in hand. Another benefit was it eased his mind that we could take care of the bills and still have some "mad money".
BH Cee64D - 50
FWW (me) - 51
All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.
KBeguile ( member #38348) posted at 1:48 AM on Sunday, December 22nd, 2013
Me: WS 34
Her: BS 37 (HeartInADustpan)
DS: 7yo
M: 9 years
DDays: 2012/11/14-2013/02/05, 2013/03/09, 2016/02/19
lemony.2008 ( member #20125) posted at 3:35 AM on Sunday, December 22nd, 2013
Definitely a good example that shows progress! 
Feel the feelings and drop the story. - Pema Chodron
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