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Disastergirl (original poster new member #41743) posted at 7:46 PM on Sunday, December 22nd, 2013
Feel so bad
[This message edited by Disastergirl at 2:23 PM, December 22nd (Sunday)]
SurprisinglyOkay ( member #36684) posted at 8:42 PM on Sunday, December 22nd, 2013
Welcome to SI.
There is not a lot to go on here...
What do you feel bad about?
Read around in the healing library, you get there in the top left corner of the page.
It's a bit slow around here on the weekends...just so you know 
You can get a lot of help here, but being a bit more specific helps.
FWS me 38 (recovering addict)
BS him 41 AFrayedKnot
Together 10 years
2 children
"Your secrets keep you sick"
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 8:51 PM on Sunday, December 22nd, 2013
Disastergirl,
Hello. Welcome to SI. This is a safe place to share, learn, work on yourself, and help with different aspects of the healing process. Our Healing Library is a wealth of information (the link is on the left side of the screen). Our members have compassion, empathy, and are a great support team.
[This message edited by SI Staff at 2:52 PM, December 22nd (Sunday)]
LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 8:53 PM on Sunday, December 22nd, 2013
Hello and welcome, Disastergirl.
I hope you feel comfortable talking to us and sharing your story at some point.
We're here to help you work through things.
Disastergirl (original poster new member #41743) posted at 10:00 PM on Sunday, December 22nd, 2013
I have marriage problems. I had a ONS. Feel awful and was so drunk I really don't know all the details. I can't tell my H. I clearly have issues and this was not the way to deal. So many possible consequences. So much shame.
LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 3:39 PM on Monday, December 23rd, 2013
Sorry for my slow response. Like broevil said, it is slow around here on the weekends, and even more so during holiday weekends.
What are the problems in your marriage? One thing that I will say that I like about your initial posting here is that you mentioned that you have problems in your marriage, and in a different sentence you said that you had an ONS. Those two are totally separate things. I don't know if that was intentional or not, but that is the reality of it. The problems in your marriage are separate from what you did. Good for you for realizing that early on, whether that was consciously or subconsciously.
There will be no good time to tell him, but it is important that you tell him what has happened. That is just my opinion. He will be devastated. But we are here to help you through. And him, too.
What is your game plan in the near future?
I'm glad that you have found us, and I hope you continue to post here. We are here to help and support.
Disastergirl (original poster new member #41743) posted at 8:41 PM on Monday, December 23rd, 2013
Thanks very much for response. My perception is that the two are related but not an excuse of either. Some of the issues are so awful and complicated I couldn't ever post them. Feel like a waste of space at the moment but I'm not going to tell H. There are many views on whether admitting such a thing is the right thing or not. Some think that it is not necessarily the right thing. Regardless of that I am a coward and cannot face the backlash. I think I would rather just leave and never tell. My head feels like it's going to explode.
[This message edited by Disastergirl at 2:42 PM, December 23rd (Monday)]
LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 2:02 AM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013
Have you thought about IC (Individual Counseling)? Sometimes talking through this stuff out loud with a therapist or counselor can be tremendously helpful. It was very helpful for me.
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