SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I've been MIA for a while.

husband and I are still having issues- not cheating issues. He has been good in that department so far as I can tell.

Apparently, that doesn't stop some whore ex of his from creeping up and trying to insert herself back into his life. So far (and I have been watching very closely), he has not spoken to her, has shown zero interest, and has not been around her.

First, she successfully found a crowd of friends of his, and started going to the bar they go to regularly. Now his friends are all hanging out with her- going to her birthday party. Then, she tried to make contact with me (via facebook- husband doesn't have one) and play all innocent, "oh heyyyyy, are you the wife? We used to date- I can't believe he finally settled down! You should tell him to come to the bar this weekend- I would love to buy him a drink and catch up!" I said something to him- we're not going (his choice), and he didn't bat an eyelash. Could not have cared less, this far. I wonder how long it will take until this becomes a problem.

Regardless, I see what she is doing. I check his phone. I check his Internet usage, and his e-mail- I trust him, just not the situation. Been there, done that before. He knows, we haven't talked about it directly but he knows how I feel and my concerns.

I really wanted to respond and tell her I knew exactly what she was doing...didn't do it. I don't want to look bad in from of his friends, or start some drama fight. But god, if I could:

Dear Whore-

There is a reason (beyondbreaking's husband name here) refers to you as an "ex"- BECAUSE HE BROKE UP WITH YOU. There is a reason why he didn't try to keep in touch, remain friends, or get in contact with you- HE ISNT INTERESTED IN YOU.

I know what you're trying to do. Deny away- I can see right through your innocent little act. If your game works- if you are able to steal him away from me- congratulations. Stealing a cheater is walking away with no prize. If it doesn't work- again you lose. How does it feel, having a plan in which no matter what happens, you lose?

Do yourself a favor- back off, walk away, and forget him. He already forgot about you years ago.

-THE wife

Wow BB, that's a new low. So 'YOU should TELL HIM to down to the bar and let her buy him a drink'..?? yeah, right. I just love that. How insulting. These dimbulbs they call 'today's young women' are clearly not being taught basic human ethics, how to treat other females, how to respect other peoples' lives and relationships. Good for you for standing up for yourself and getting your thoughts clear, in your head at least. And of course I'm all for making your thoughts clear to the maggot, also. But, even more powerful- can you ask 'THE H' (ha) to stand up with you, and you can both tell her to F* off, together..? Sometimes when you make a united front and you nip their sick little game in the bud, all the fun is gone for them.. then they feel kinda stupid, because they can't play him against you, come between you two by creating a little secret rel with your H.. so they go find someone else to f* with.

I don't think it would make you look bad.. it all depends on the way you do it. Don't get dragged into a white trash cat-fight.. just speak clearly and with dignity. You have the right to do that. Maybe just speak your mind once and be done with it. If she keeps trying to pull you in, let her keeping banging her head against a wall like an idiot. or she'll try to turn it around to make it look like YOU'RE a bitch or difficult or whatever. But you can use this as an opportunity to see her reaction (and, his)- which will speak volumes. Who cares what his friends think? They should respect YOU and your rela with your H. If they are decent people, they would only respect you even more for making a stand for yourself and your H.

BV they are certainly getting more stupid. The ow asked my husband if their relationship would grow into something more maybe a serious commitment. He said to her " honey I'm in a serious relationship. If I wanted another one I would divorce my wife." The ow said she didn't get it. And asked what about them. He said.. God your dense. We have no relationship just fucking.. She says oh ha ok that's ok I guess so your not my boyfriend.

Smart women. And she supposedly graduated from Rice university. Glad my DD didn't want to go there.

I'm having great difficulty with the notion that she thought you would send your husband down to a bar to be bought a drink by another woman. Wow.

WTF is the matter with these people?!?! I have more guy friends than girl friends. Some of them I have dated in the past. I NEVER go out with them alone -- even if there is a group of our friends around! If we meet for a drink, either my WH is there, their spouse is there...or it doesn't happen!!

This chick is delusional to think you can't see through this. I'm glad your spouse is steering clear, but you're right to keep an eye on the situation.

I hope she gets the hint soon. Keep giving her crickets, although I wish you could send her your message, too. Crickets are better.

Pathetic.

I'd love it if you wrote back "Oh, so you want to catch up and talk about 'old times' with my husband huh? Well, he snores, he is a complete jerk when he first wakes up, his feet smell terrible at the end of a day, his back has much more hair on it, and he's a bit of a homebody these days. So now you're caught up on his life. So that leaves old times. Did you want to discuss the romance you had and think fondly of it, or did you want to talk about the sex you had together, or both? Maybe you'd like to fuck him again, for old times sake? I'll check and see if he's interested."

THAT would be hysterical. Of course, I agree - crickets are best. But the temptation to just crush her has to be overwhelming.