SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So my h cheated on me with someone I thought was my friend and married herself. This A went on for a month or so. She finally came clean with me. My h kept denying it until finally coming clean with me. I told him to leave cuz I was hurt. I felt betrayed. Still do. Now the the other person may be pregnant. My h is at his parent's house and is coming in to get some things. He even disappeared this past weekend and come to find out his was at his ex wife's house. He says nothing happened but he ignored my calls and texts the whole time he was there. I am so confused on what to do. Why lie? Why tell me u love me when u continue to do things that show me different. He says he wants to start over but how after this? My head is so messed uo and my heart is broken. I havent eaten hardly can't sleep. When will this nightmare be over?

Hi Stangirl,

I just wanted to let you know you've been heard.

I guess I would just hope and pray that the ow is not pregnant, as that would add so much more to this drama.

Also, it just sounds like your wh is acting very confused and uncomitted right now... An ow and his ex-wife?

(Stangirl) Hang in there, more people will chime in with more helpful, sage advice.

It just sounds to me that he's acting like an overgrown child, going though a midlife crisis.

I am sorry you are goimg through this,

Ta

Hey there. I'm so sorry that you had to find this place, but I am happy that we can help support you. This is a place that no one should have the reason to come looking for.

First off, if you have not already, take a look in the upper left corner, at the yellow box, and click on The Healing Library. Start reading. There's a lot of good information there from people who have walked this path. Any posts that you see in this form that have a bulls-eye next to them are good posts to read as well. You might have to go back a couple of pages to find them all, but they are filled with good, tactical advice.

Your WH has, at this point, essentially abandoned you. He's being a coward as well as being a liar and betrayer. Your priority right now should be YOU. Eat what you can if you can't keep food down (and it's not uncommon to throw up a lot), get a whole-food nutrition drink like Ensure and sip on that. Stay hydrated. Try to rest. You are going to feel like your head is exploding and your emotions will flip-flop constantly. You are NOT going crazy. This is normal. This is how normal people react when they receive a shock of this kind.

I would like you to consider one thing. Tell the OWs H, if you have not already. He deserves to know what his WW has been doing and with whom.

Keep coming back for support. Vent away here we are all here for you. It can be slow on weekends, but be assured, we all care. (((hugs)))

Don't listen to a word he says; watch his actions - this:

He says nothing happened but he ignored my calls and texts the whole time he was there. I am so confused on what to do.

You can see with your eyes, now see with your heart. I'm sorry, sweetheart, but put yourself first now. That's why my name on this site was MeFirst - I was learning how to do this, also. You must start to value yourself more.

It's a new year for the new you. Leave this immature and confused person behind. You are worth much much more.

(((stangirl)))

I have been in this same situation~ the OW was someone I considered a close friend and then I found out that her son might be my H's child...it turned out that he was.

There is an OC (other child) thread in "I Can Relate" that specifically deals with OW pregnancy/ birth of an OC. I know from experience how hard it is, but try not to ruminate on the possibility that it is your H's child until or unless a test is done.

Our first couple years of R were very much a rollercoaster, filled with false R and him having sex with the OW again, withdrawing, fighting and so on...but at the time neither of us had this site. No matter what happens or what you decide, we're here for you :) Give yourself lots of TLC.