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inshockandhurt (original poster member #38789) posted at 3:13 AM on Friday, January 17th, 2014
I keep asking my husband questions about when the affair was starting, things like, did he hesitate before answering the email she sent that started it all? Did he hesitate before asking her to come to him, or letting her go down on him, or telling her he loved her, or actually having sex the first time? Did he hesitate at all? Was there even a moment of indecision before he took the steps to break me and destroy our marriage? I keep hoping that he will say yes, that he will tell me that there was just a fraction of a second where this might not have happened. But there wasn’t apparently. My husband didn’t hesitate even for a second to run into the arms of the woman he had sworn not to, didn’t pause even for a moment before doing the thing he had promised a thousand times he would never do. I don’t know why this hurts so much, it shouldn’t, it doesn’t change the fact that it happened; but for some reason, I wish there had been even a moment where he wanted to save us, just one...just one... 
Me: 36 BS
Him:38 FWH
Dday 8 years ago
2 sons 1 daughter
Reconciled
Forgiveness means understanding, acceptance, and giving up on looking back.
Kelany ( member #34755) posted at 3:16 AM on Friday, January 17th, 2014
Mine never hesitated either. He had overnight to think it over about AP#1, as she called him and offered herself to him at work the next day. He didn't even consider saying no.
BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking
inshockandhurt (original poster member #38789) posted at 9:47 PM on Tuesday, January 21st, 2014
Somehow it is hard that he didn't hesitate isn't it? Like I said, I don't know why, it doesn't change anything.
Me: 36 BS
Him:38 FWH
Dday 8 years ago
2 sons 1 daughter
Reconciled
Forgiveness means understanding, acceptance, and giving up on looking back.
struggling16 ( member #33202) posted at 9:55 PM on Tuesday, January 21st, 2014
Mine didn't hesitate either. As he memorably put it, he"had a live one".
I assume his conscience is nonexistent.
This reality is hell.
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