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We divorced in Sept 2013 and DS and I moved out Oct. I still have some belongings at the place so I've made 2 trips over there to get some of it before Christmas. The last trip I had DS hook up the camper (I got it in the D). XWH didn't like that much, as he couldn't get into it a pilfer all the towels, pots, pans, dishes, etc.. I just hooked up and left. Later that week XWH changed all the locks on every door on that property and added padlocks inside the shop building. He is trying to keep me from "taking everything" he says. Whatever..

My mom still lives there in an apt we built for her 5 years ago. Waiting to move her in Feb to an independent living community. Anyway, my girlfriend from HS came to visit 2 weeks ago. Before she was to leave that Sunday we went to visit my mom. While she and my mom were outside talking, I was looking for something in the apt for my mom. XWH comes driving around the apt and glances over and only sees my GF and my mom. I'm in the apt. Well, guess what he's done now. My mom said he put padlocks on the upright freezers inside the shop and the chest freezer in the butcher shop.

He apparently thought since he didn't see me, then I must be "taking everything". Geez louise. I told him that I would let him know when I was coming by to get stuff, but not when I come out to visit my mother.

It wasn't until we divorced that I saw the magnitude of his hoarding. He's been hoarding stuff all his life. He hoards antibiotics and packets of medicines, old work boots, old equipment from his work, even went as far as to bring stuff home and hide the stuff in our barns. It took me 16 years to get him to haul off the old tires...there were 75 tires! It almost killed him. He can't throw anything away....his beer can would make it to the counter in the kitchen, or outside the back door, or on top of a 4-wheeler...never into a trash can. Can't throw wrappers away. Won't drink the last of the milk or ice cream in the carton, because then the carton would have to be thrown away. Keeps all coffee cans and the plastic ones. Keeps all liquor bottles and pickle jars. He has 4 trucks, they are all crammed full of stuff. I could go on and on.

And, he won't clean the house. DS told my mom "maybe I should call Aunt M and she can help clean the house". XWH has't dusted, swept or mopped the house since October. Lord only knows what the bathroom looks like. You know it must be pretty bad when a 15 yr old boy notices a dirty house.

He's not only a two time cheater, but a hoarder to boot. Sad.

Anyone have their ex change so drastically?

[This message edited by whatdoto at 12:51 PM, January 23rd (Thursday)]

Gross. Let him lock up the freezers all he wants. Like you really want food from that guy.

Sorry, no drastic changes in my STBX. Pretty sure he's still the gigantic piece of shit moron I remember..

I don't think that your ex, himself, has drastically changed. The only change I see is that you are no longer around to mitigate his idiosyncracies(?).

whatdoto

your post reminded me of a funny story I heard of my x post separation.

Whilst x is not a hoarder per se he did have a thing about always keeping the boxes that stuff came in. Needless to say when I packed up and got the hell out of dodge he was stuck with a lot of useless empty boxes (complete with packaging foam etc it came with) . I left summer time in Australia. As you can imagine it gets hot and dry here and you are pretty much banned from lighting fires during certain months to prevent bush fires.

Of course instead of taking the cardboard to the recycling place, as a sensible person would do, the genius decides to burn a large pile (including the plastics ). Apparently the neighbours saw the large column of smoke and contacted the fire department who promptly showed up, sternly admonished him out and handed him a fine.

Considering our area had gone through a huge bush fire a few years earlier that killed more than a hundred people the idiot was lucky not to get lynched.

Unfortunately x hasn't really changed. He was always thoughtless, selfish and immature. What has changed is my perception of him now that I see him for who he really is.

OMG...we were married to the person. Mine padlocked trailers and stripped them. Rewired them so brakes would not work...horse trailer that would have 3000 lbs of live horses being put at risk. I parked my car away from anything he might chin it up to so he breaks into it. He removed ladder to attic where he was stashing stuff. I buy a portable ladder and he chains that up. He starting bagging horse manure, putting in shed & locking shed until it started to rot the floor. He quit throwing out bottles and stacking and hiding them in garage. He turned out lights & stringing wires to trip me. He took all pictures down off walls, marked out my face with markers & put them back up. He wire tapped phone and put spy cameras in house. When court gave me the house he shot holes in A/G pool & destroyed it. He asked to destroy his horse. When I took the horse he came back & opened the gate. He stole my mail. He broke into locked mailbox...guess what...I finally figured it out...he was an alcoholic * it finally warped his brain.

Jersey a lot of that is illegal - especially the mail. Did you ever prosecute him? Trying to trip you would be putting your life in danger. Same with the trailer. Property damage for the pool stuff....