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Newest Member: youtookawaymyfriend

New Beginnings :
O L D profile showstoppers

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 Tripletrouble (original poster member #39169) posted at 12:19 AM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

I only lasted a short time on OLD. But in that time I had some rules for the ones I would respond to:

1. no selfies

2. no shirtless

3. no men looking for an age range only younger than their own

these weren't 100% hard and fast (one guy had a cute selfie with a funny caption about how silly he felt using one)

So I'm curious to hear from others, both men and women - what made you click away?

40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.

posts: 1175   ·   registered: May. 3rd, 2013
id 6681568
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PhoenixRisen ( member #35912) posted at 12:49 AM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

I screened my inbox by a quick glimpse and their pics and if I saw the following two I didn't reply:

messy backgrounds (esp cluttered kitchens & bathroom)

pics with their children. As a mom I would not like my ex to have our children in his dating pics

posts: 543   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2012
id 6681623
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h0peless ( member #36697) posted at 1:00 AM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

I haven't done OLD but I have looked. I think that as far as pictures go, the only thing that would make me 100% uninterested would be duckface. Obviously, I've read more than a few profiles where the lack of spelling and grammar or overall hatefullness were huge turnoffs too. Also, the quote "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" tells me to run the other way.

[This message edited by h0peless at 9:03 PM, February 11th (Tuesday)]

posts: 3136   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: Baja Arizona
id 6681644
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hurtbs ( member #10866) posted at 1:02 AM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

Selfies don't bother more, nor does a shirtless photo (when 18/20 pics are shirtless photos though...).

Things that make me click next:

Relationship status: "it's complicated" or "separated"

No pictures or photos are fuzzy, only wears sunglasses in photo, don't smile and show teeth (teeth are important), no face photos and conversely no full body photos, all pictures have a hat, or photos are super inconsistent (you look like a different person in each photo).

Photos are clearly old (sometimes they have dates on them and show they are 7+ years old!).

Egregiously bad spelling or grammar. We all are guilty of typos, but if it's replete with typos it's a big turn off.

Profiles in ALL CAPS

No info in profile. I appreciate discretion, but give me an idea of who you are.

There are exceptions to all of them, but those are issues that largely strike me as a big red flag.

Me - 40 something. WXH DDay 2006, Divorced 2012
WBF DDay #1 9/2022 #2 11/2022
Single

posts: 15762   ·   registered: Jun. 1st, 2006   ·   location: So Cal
id 6681648
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jemimapd ( member #37895) posted at 1:29 AM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

Triple, when I was searching for my WH on Match, I swear 90% of the photos were selfies and this was the standard profile:

back trying this out one more time, i am an easygoing kinda guy, just want to have a beer and chill no games no drama lets see where it goes no pressure

(But you know where I live )

Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

posts: 726   ·   registered: Dec. 25th, 2012
id 6681688
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ruinedandbroken ( member #29250) posted at 1:49 AM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

No separated

No shirtless

Selfies are ok but no bathroom mirror selfies.

no one out of age range

no grammar errors. How hard is it to proof read?

No texting shorthand.

“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 8&11
Married 14 yrs Together 21

posts: 1622   ·   registered: Aug. 6th, 2010
id 6681721
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Betrayeddaddio ( member #30198) posted at 2:50 AM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

I agree with a lot of the one's mentioned already (and really you are trying to narrow your search and weed out the.....ummm, undesirables???)

-duck face pics

-all caps profiles

-sideways profile pics (right click, and rotate)

-longest relationship under a year (not one person lasted over a year...why? red flag)

-pics with children (don't get them involved in your dating)

-Egregiously bad spelling or grammar (grammer )

-Women looking for "long term relationships" with cleavage pictures in lingerie and "69" in their screen name.....

"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"

This tells me you show your worst quite often.

BH-42 WW-40 DD-5 DD-9 DD-11
D-Day 09/27/2010 Wayward wife had a 10 month A with married DB co-worker Separated Oct. 2013

posts: 719   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2010   ·   location: Canada
id 6681798
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GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 2:59 AM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

I usually passed by profiles with the following:

-Disgusting screen names (ie Lickemlow55, etc)

-Shirtless

-Shirtless and pants/jeans dropped just above the hair line

-No attempt at spellcheck

Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)

WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).

I edit often for clarity/typos.

posts: 10094   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2009   ·   location: Here and There
id 6681806
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Bluebird26 ( member #36445) posted at 10:42 AM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

I am not actively OLD but have looked

- no selfies in the bathroom mirror

- no messy backgrounds (unmade beds, clothes on the floor etc)

- no kids or ex cropped out of photos

- no shirtless photos

- no motorbike photos

- no separated, no married - looking for friends

- those that use text abbreviations in their profile and really poor spelling

- no unemployed

- loves camping/fishing (I hate both)

Probably why I'm still single, that pretty much rules out about 90% already.

Me: BW

Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.

Life's good.

posts: 1530   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6682042
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risingfromashes ( member #3903) posted at 12:11 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

Ditto to already listed.

I would like to add:

No 2 day face stubble. You are not Brad Pitt.

posts: 2148   ·   registered: Mar. 29th, 2004
id 6682090
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HopeImOverIt ( member #34517) posted at 6:47 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

I will not reply at all if:

No picture

Did not answer any questions to establish match %. How lazy can you get?

Me: BW (52)
ExWH: (53)
2 teen-age boys
Divorced

posts: 332   ·   registered: Jan. 12th, 2012   ·   location: PA
id 6682617
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