SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Shit just never happens as fast as I would like it to.

Petition to modify CS has been filed, he'll get his paperwork shortly. Haven't heard about the 'pay me my money or go to jail' letter yet. If he's gotten it, he's learned not to shoot off a text to me. That's progress, right? I'll follow up with L about that issue this week.

You know that bit about him going off on storm contracting work so that he could 'generate some income' to pay Teslet and me more than what he owes? Must have been a quick one because stripper whore is posting about all the fun they are having snowed in the house.

He still hasn't told me that Teslet is uninsured (and I have not told him that I've put him on my insurance). I've received my extra set of insurance cards to give to ex-shat. What do you all think, send them by certified mail or hand them to him the next visit? I hate having to say a word to the fucker but I could probably make an exception here.

I really want this guy to go have a time out in jail. Is that evil of me?

I'd hold off giving him the insurance card until after you know for sure he's gotten the letter. I mean, as far as he knows, you still think Teslet is on is insurance. If Teslet needs a trip to the clinic while with him between now and then...he can pay out of pocket.

Well, that's an interesting point. Settlement says he has to provide insurance through his job if available. It's not available...okay, but it doesn't say anything about me having to pick up the slack in that case.

Random thought...is it possible that if I send those insurance cards over there they could try to commit fraud using them?

It would be easy enough for me to discover and track, as I look at and read all my paperwork. But it just occurred to me that they are both hypochondriacs. Stripper whore is constantly going to the doctor or taking the OC to the ER for trifles.

I would not give him the card. You are available when Teslet is over there. If he was sick before he left, you could rethink it. In case of emergency, he would be treated and you could file the insurance when you got there. JMHO

I work in the healthcare field. I would not mess around with the insurance card. Give him the card and have him sign something saying he received it or send it certified mail.

Douchebag and stripper whore can sure as hell try to use the card for themselves, but their claims would get denied so fast their heads would spin. They are not covered under your insurance - that's the first thing the insurance company checks when paying claims - eligibility.

One warning. SAWH's ex-W and his daughter used the info from his insurance card to open up a couple of credit cards in his name, run them up and then default on them. Took him more than a year to clean that up. He finally had to call the police and press charges to get them to pay.

I must say I would be PISSED if my kids were all of the sudden uninsured and I found out the fucker knew and didn't tell me. What an irresponsible piece of shit.

Is it evil of you to want him to spend some time in jail where he might possibly have some time to search for head and attempt to pry it out his ass? Hell no. They put shitheads like him in jail BECAUSE THEY DESERVE IT.

I know how much it sucks when they screw around with the insurance. I have been through it 2x now... He's convinced that the insurance company will pay retroactively.

As tiresome as it is, I think you should send him the cards. I'd hate for him to not take Teslet to the emergency room or even for sick care if he needs it because he thinks he's not insured.

FYI,

XH covers my kids under his insurance. He does not give me the cards without me asking the judge/his attorney/etc to forward the cards to my address.

I have taken my kid to dr's appts only to find out that they were no longer covered due to his employer switching insurance carriers. The Dr's offices were kind enough to research the new company and wait for the cards/info from me. The hospital is the same way.

He can get a bill, let him sweat it out. When Teslet tells you dad took him to the ER, then send the cards certified mail.

You are not obligated to cover Teslet, He is.... let him figure out that visiting docs/ER is expensive.

Hugs, It really is easier to not rely on him for anything but a good time for Teslet and leave the parenting to you.

K

If Teslet needs a trip to the clinic while with him between now and then...he can pay out of pocket.

Devil's advocate here.... what would an asshole do if they had to pay out of pocket to take their kid to the doctor? I'm thinking they'd avoid taking their kid to the doctor unless a limb was missing.

I say in this case just give him the card so that he has a pretty little path carved out for him with lights and signs and snacks in the interest of taking the best care of Teslet. I'd make that part easy for him just to err on the side of caution.

ETA: Believe me, I'm waiting with baited breath for the miraculous day that ex-shat gets tossed in jail for all the money he owes. I just don't want him to be any more of an idiot parent to Teslet than is inherent in his broken brain.

[This message edited by Jrazz at 5:41 PM, February 19th (Wednesday)]

What an asshole. That's all.

I don't know, I wouldn't tip my hand yet. Chances are you would be the one to take him to the Dr. anyway, and if an emergency happened and he had to go to the ER, he HAS to notify you, and you'd be en-route with the card anyway. I'd let him stew with this one, at least you have the peace of mind that the child actually has health ins. right now.

I really want this guy to go have a time out in jail. Is that evil of me?

NO!! He brought it all on himself.

I am impatiently waiting on that Kracken myself. I hate to pop my popcorn too soon, ya know? Give him the cards, in the long run, it's best for Teslet. Do send them certified and continue to monitor your account.

PS I know that it seems like it is taking forever but you can't rush the good stuff

Got my copy of the 'pay the money or go to jail' letter.

My favorite line:

If your obligation in this matter is not satisfied on or before February 24, 2014, my office will seek assistance from the court to coerce your compliance with its orders.

That sentence right there virtually guarantees that he will not comply. Nobody tells him what to do. He hates authority. And he especially hates ultimatums. An authority figure could tell him to raise his right hand and he'd raise his left and dare you to do something about it.

I remember a conversation that we had when we were married. My first years of teaching before Teslet were spent in inner city school and alternative education settings. I was used to crazy and was very good at getting kids to comply. He spent his school days being kicked out of school, he bounced around a lot and eventually got through an alternative ed program. He would *always* brag about how no teacher could make him do anything. He showed all the teachers, administration, everyone. I remember laughing at him and teasing him, telling him, well, you never had me as a teacher. (Yeah, I know, we had a fucked up marriage dynamic...sick codependency...) ANyway, I feel like that's kinda what is going on here. His entire life no one has called him to task. No one. Losing his job is the first taste of a real consequence for his poor choices that he has not been able to run from. THis will be the second. I mean, I want him to pay. I would have rather he had done the right thing in the first place. But if he's going to make a bad choice, shouldn't he have to pay the consequences? I think that's why I want his ass in jail over this. I want to feel like there is justice...that people can't perpetually behave like a shithead and only the innocents suffer.

I hate that he keeps getting chances. The contempt date was 10 Feb...but here ya go, you dumb piece of shit, here's two more weeks to sort your shit...granted, if I got this letter today, then he's getting it today or tomorrow...at his dad's place...which means he's not getting it in time to really make a difference in making a payment.

And it better not take the court for fucking ever to issue a bench warrant or whatever the hell they end up doing. This guy needs a time out in an orange jumpsuit. So the next time he has to make a decision about paying the money he owes or keeping it for himself he'll remember his lovely time in county and all the wonderful friends he made.

Fuck. That. Guy.

You should go visit him in jail and get us a photo of him in his orange jump suit.

Of course he's not going to pay. Like you said, he's gotten away with every thing and has never had to face the consequences. Let the court teach him a lesson.

His dad must have called him up and read the letter to him...I just got this text.

I get my bonus check next week and my vacation pay for the year this week. I'll make 2 seperate child support payments this week and next. Did you have a taxable income this year or can I claim Teslet?

Ummmmm....while I think it's great that he's going to make payments to CS (since he's really behind), that doesn't fulfill his obligations for the contempt thingy. This guy is really that dumb. He's been told several times...L's letter makes it clear where to send the payment for contempt and lawyer's fees.

And isn't it just amusing how I keep getting promised that payment is right around the corner by this method...oh now he's just waiting on that...oh now he needs this to happen before he pays. Yep, I'm over that shit.

But the part that truly blows my mind is that he is unaware that I have taxable income. Um...why do you think Teslet is in daycare? Does Teslet not talk to you? He tells everyone that mom is a teacher.

Oh and here's a hint...me having or not having taxable income does not dictate who takes Teslet as a tax deduction. It's in this magical document called the divorce settlement. Maybe his lawyer didn't give him the secret decoder glasses that you have to wear to make sense of this document.

For god's sake. I just cannot even imagine having this level of stupidity in my life anymore.

Crickets to this shit.

And I'll send those insurance cards by return receipt certified mail.

Dear Universe,

Do not let whatever is wrong with ex-shat be hereditary. I really like Teslet and would hate to see him become a stupid moron like his father.

Yep, crickets and I would also add restricted delivery when you mail the cards. When you mail something certified, anyone can accept it. I would force him to accept it.