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Newest Member: LonelyandUnsure

Reconciliation :
confused on hysterical bonding and personal boundaries for you

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 ionlytalkedtoher (original poster member #39802) posted at 4:03 PM on Thursday, February 20th, 2014

[This message edited by ionlytalkedtoher at 1:03 PM, March 30th (Sunday)]

posts: 309   ·   registered: Jul. 11th, 2013
id 6693674
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veronique12 ( member #42185) posted at 4:14 PM on Thursday, February 20th, 2014

Hi, I'm confused about your situation. You don't want a D, but it sounds like you don't want R either if you're making an effort not to talk or trying to only talk about the kids.

To me, sounds like you want to be close with him if you're feeling the urge to HB. You want the reassurance. Why are you not trying to communicate your feelings to him? Is he interested in pursuing R?

BW, D-Day: 11/29/13 (4 month EA discovered); 12/19/13 (discovered was also PA); TT thru 2/14
Married: 2001; Together for 20 years
2 beautiful young kids

posts: 894   ·   registered: Jan. 23rd, 2014
id 6693695
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Lovedyoumore ( member #35593) posted at 4:14 PM on Thursday, February 20th, 2014

What is your goal? What is your spouse's goal? If R is not a possibility then I would meet with a mediator to help set up some house rules as well as personal rules. That would include putting the brakes on HB. Being intimate or just flat out having sex is confusing for you and is sending the wrong message to your SO. Are you working on a plan or have you given up on R?

Me 50's
WH 50's
Married 30+ years
2 young adult children
OW single 20 years younger
Together trying to R

Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose

posts: 3626   ·   registered: May. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Southern, bless your heart
id 6693699
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 ionlytalkedtoher (original poster member #39802) posted at 4:17 PM on Thursday, February 20th, 2014

[This message edited by ionlytalkedtoher at 1:04 PM, March 30th (Sunday)]

posts: 309   ·   registered: Jul. 11th, 2013
id 6693702
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 ionlytalkedtoher (original poster member #39802) posted at 4:22 PM on Thursday, February 20th, 2014

[This message edited by ionlytalkedtoher at 1:05 PM, March 30th (Sunday)]

posts: 309   ·   registered: Jul. 11th, 2013
id 6693716
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