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Child Support Question

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 Elecin (original poster member #16484) posted at 6:42 PM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

Hello, all.

I'm hoping someone will be able to shed some light on my situation.

My father has been paying child support to my mother for my brothers and I for many years. We are all well past the age of 18 but he never sent a court order to have the payments stopped. I've always assumed that he was paying out of the kindness of his heart. We all have a relationship with him and he's never once mentioned that he didn't want to pay it anymore.

I've recently moved out of my mother's house and she finally received a letter from family court for the cessation of child support. She aggrees that this is fair, everyone agrees that this is fair. BUT, in the letter it states that he is seeking repayment of support for the three of us from the age of 18. This is a great deal of money...amounting to somewhere in the neighborhood of 100,000.00.

Naturally, I called him to ask if he is truly seeking repayment. We all agree that he is well within his rights to cease the payments but REPAYMENT? He says the lawyer put it in the letter and that he is not truly seeking repayment but my gut tells me otherwise.

I'm sick at the thought of my poor mother having to repay all of that money when she used it to help put us through school.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Omissions are Betrayals

posts: 1959   ·   registered: Oct. 5th, 2007   ·   location: Bergen County, NJ
id 6700798
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cmego ( member #30346) posted at 7:33 PM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

Good grief…please have your mother consult with an attorney.

me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced

posts: 4745   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: South
id 6700870
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Undefinabl3 ( member #36883) posted at 7:38 PM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

I am so sorry to hear this!

I have never heard of this before.

I did find this:

There is no fixed age in New Jersey when support stops. Once your child turns 18 and/or becomes financially independent, either parent must file papers with the court asking that the order be terminated or adjusted.

Please contact a lawyer - but it sounds like the other lawyer is scare

Me: 35 MH
Him: 41 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.
1/26/15 - Started IC for me, DH won't go.
1/10/18 - Again?!? Online EA's

posts: 2422   ·   registered: Sep. 19th, 2012
id 6700882
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Undefinabl3 ( member #36883) posted at 7:53 PM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

Sorry, wrong thread

[This message edited by Undefinabl3 at 2:35 PM, February 25th (Tuesday)]

Me: 35 MH
Him: 41 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.
1/26/15 - Started IC for me, DH won't go.
1/10/18 - Again?!? Online EA's

posts: 2422   ·   registered: Sep. 19th, 2012
id 6700911
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sparkysable ( member #3703) posted at 8:11 PM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

I'm pretty sure he is out of luck.

The only time I have ever heard of someone getting reimbursed was when the order came through to stop CS payments as the child had aged out and the employer kept taking the CS out of the paycheck because the person who takes care of it in the personnel department was out on disability, and nobody else stepped in to take care of this order to stop.

D-day OW#1 2/2004;D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

posts: 5718   ·   registered: Mar. 8th, 2004   ·   location: NY
id 6700936
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Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 11:40 PM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

NPd-x is taking me back to court and asking for repayment of CS for 2 years plus he is asking for money for stuff he bought after the decree was signed, and he wants me to double pay on a second mortgage he took without my knowledge while we were married.

Grand total: $70,000. I am a teacher. He makes six figures.

We shall see what happens........

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie

posts: 6709   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2010
id 6701261
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 Elecin (original poster member #16484) posted at 10:21 PM on Wednesday, February 26th, 2014

Thank you everyone for your responses.

Undefinabl3 - I did read some similar things. I also have a lawyer friend who did some research and came up with the same information.

My mother is just terrified at the idea of going to court and having them possibly treat her like a criminal for collecting the money for so long.

sparkysable - I think he is out of luck as well but when you don't really KNOW it can be nerve wracking!

Chrysalis123 - I'm sorry your ex is doing that to you! I know laws differ by state but I don't think items purchased outside of the agreement can be recouped. Hopefully he is out of luck the way I hope my dad is out of luck!

Omissions are Betrayals

posts: 1959   ·   registered: Oct. 5th, 2007   ·   location: Bergen County, NJ
id 6702534
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