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Im pregnant....for the 5th time. That means c-section number 5. I was on birth control took an antibiotic my doc said wouldnt affect my birth control. Well, it did. Im freaking out. After my last I received 4 units of blood...had a lot of pain. My doc said "you can not get pregnant again, it will be life threatening" Im scared shitless now!! Im so scared im going to die from child birth. I have so many questions...what part is the risk, uterine rupture, hemmorhage, infection, organ failure? Besides the amount of blood i lost last time, everything was normal. I figure why cant they do a transfusion before delievery and one after if needed? Why not have the surgical room stacked with a trama doc, or er doc. Last time my doc had and extra ob/gyn doing surgery with her. I have a uterine fibroid, and my uterus is fused to my abdominal wall from scar tissue. They couldnt even tie my tubes because of all the scar tissue. Im not saying its easy, but I feel like if we're prepared why cant it go right?? My doc is knowledgeable but her bedside manner is lacking. During my c-section she came up to me and said "no more babies" with her gown soaked in my blood.

What if i die? What if my children dont have their mother? What will my fws do? I know he will feel so much guilt for doing the things he's done to me the years prior to this. I dont want him to feel that way. What if the OW finally wins his heart because im gone. All honesty, he deserves better then her. How will he support our children? How will they know my family since all of mine is 1000 miles away?

Im freaking out!! Doc appointment on tues...1st time ill see her since she delivered my 4th.

Oh gosh, honey. I don't have any experience with this stuff, but I can hear the panic in your words. (((((hugs)))))

Definitely....I cant sleep. I cry randomly. My fws tells me to be strong, that its going to be okay. Thats what he's supposed to say. Maybe it is....

I just laughed looking at my user name...

Thats the truth!

Keep breathing. Tuesday seems like a lifetime away, but you'll get there. I know there are amazing results with high-risk pregnancies these days. I've seen it even within my own family.

You're going to be ok. Keeping you and your little bean in my thoughts. ((((more hugs))))

(((Dtermined2surviv))) Try not to worry so much. I am a medical professional and have worked with OBs for quite a while. 1st I have to ask if you are at a community hospital or a trauma center. Trauma centers have OBs that are used to complicated cases and they have staff 24/7. Your OB WILL plan your C-section very carefully. If your OB does not seem "comfortable" with the surgery, then I suggest switching practices.

The plan should include: 1) timing of delivery. At our hospital, we would probably deliver you a bit early 36-37 weeks to make certain that you do not go into labor on your own (which is when you are most at risk for uterine rupture); 2) consent you for an emergent hysterectomy, in case you bleed heavily again (called a C-hys); 3) have blood available. We do not transfuse before someone loses blood unless she is already very anemic; 4) schedule your C-section when the GYN-ONC or trauma docs will be readily available. There are other techniques to minimize blood loss but I don't know if they will help you at this point.

Ask your OB about the location of your placenta. After several C-sections, it might not be in the best spot. Again, careful planning will help your procedure go smoothly.

After all goes well (which it usually does if things are planned), then maybe consider ESSURE or IUD in the future.

Try to stay calm...

We have a decent hospital where im at. They have a heart center, great at heart attacks...but not necessarily a trauma center. There is one about 45 min away callled Sacred Heart Hospital in Pensacola Fl. I know they also have high risk doctors out there and perinatologist. I feel the same way and its nice to hear you say it...With a plan, it should go smoothly.

My OB is sort of...rude. I dont know if you saw my story, but our 4th child we placed for adoption. He is with a family who we talk to almost weekly. They say they'll adopt this one if we're interested....Kind of off topic. But I honestly feel like my OB was rude to me because of my choice to adopt. Im not an easy c-section because of scarring, my uterus being fused, my fibroid....but considering things didnt go terribly wrong last time. I tried and IUD but had so much pain and thats how they found the fibroid. Also tried to have my tubes tied TWICE, the last 2 c-sections but they couldnt reach them because of the scar tissue.

I almost feel like a hysterectomy would be best anyway. That way I dont hemmorhage, 10 yrs from now i wont have to have the fibroid removed....or any other pregnancies. I was doing what I was supposed to, and here I am, AGAIN!

And the early delivery was something I was wondering about too. I think thats important since rupture will be much easier if I go into labor. She didnt say anything about any "windows" in my uterus....then again she never really said why it was "life threatening" and I didnt ask because I didnt think I'd be here again.

With my 2nd I did have a blood transfusion prior to delievery but like you said I was very anemic. Ive been anemic all my prengnancies, but that one was the worst.

Thank you Iwilltranscend! Im going to write all that down and ask her about all those things on tues!!

Thank you NIK! I need all the (((hugs))) and encouragement I can get right now!!

I've had four c-sections, cut in both directions. My 3rd was a horrible, high risk pregnancy and the baby was 11 weeks early (she's going on 15 and awesome!). We both had a rough time but are fine. And I went on to have #4 (got pg on the pill) when I wasn't supposed to. They took her three weks early to prevent my going into labor on my own (which only happened with the early bird).

Point is NIK is right - lots of great things can be done with high-risk pregnancies. And if you don't feel comfortable with your OB, get another one. Seriously.

(((dtermined)))

(((hugs)))

You've gotten some great advice from some wonderful members. I have zero experience with dealing with a pregnancy but I've dealt with the fears of dying due to medical issues. So first off, you have a doc appointment coming up soon. Try to be patient and wait to talk to your doctor to formulate a game plan, don't worry right now about it. Defer that worry knowing that you'll be talking with a doctor soon. I am sure that there are many ways to help this pregnancy be less traumatic. Having the past history will actually help because your doctor will use this information and not treat things as ordinary. If your doctor is rude then find another one. You need to feel comfortable and in good hands.

You might want to book a consult with a perinatologist and go over your situation with him/her. Their level of care is probably what you need at this point. Good luck!

Write ALL of this down before your appointment.

ALL OF IT. When you're in the office it's very easy to forget what some of your concerns were.

And if your OB is rude because you chose adoption for a child, fuck that person and get a new OB. You don't need ANY stress during your pregnancy, doctors are replaceable.

Whatever you choose in regards to this baby is YOUR CHOICE. If you want to place this child with its sibling in the other family, then you do that, and NO ONE should make you feel like you're an ass for doing that!

Hang in there. Breathe. Discuss ALL of your concerns with your doctor.

((((((((hugs))))))))))

@Wildbananas: Sound like me, pregnant on the pill. Some people struggle with fertility, but me...im too fertile. Did they tell you anything after the 3rd that scared you with the 4th?

@MovingUpward: You are right, i didnt know if i should post but it was soooo bottled up. Glad I did!

@Naturegirl: I think I'm going to do that, and mention it to my OB on tues. The family that adopted our last are both pediatric doctors, they suggested the same thing. It will ease my mind to have some exta hands on deck.

@itainteasy:Thanks for your support. I dont ever regret what we choose for our 4th child. He is so cherished and taken care of. Its so open I can call anytime day or night. They have two twin girls of their own, they call us aunt and uncle. They send pics all the time...He's growing up SUPER spoiled and he knows us just like you would direct family. He will always know we love him. I just need to relax...and deff write this down, which im about to do now!!

Thanks again. If any more docs or anyone who has survival stories is reading this I would love to hear what got you through...

[This message edited by DTERMINED2SURVIV at 4:41 PM, March 7th (Friday)]

Well, some good news I guess! I went and saw my Ob/Gyn and she said she didnt feel comfortable perfoming my c-section and felt that our medical center would not be able to provide me the care i need. She referred me to the seaton center and sacred heart hospital, a level one trauma center that also deals with high-risk pregnancies. You can only get into the seton center through referral. Im happy to know I will be getting the best care possible and the best hospital possible. The only drawback is that its about an hour away. My (former) dr was also not rude to me this time. Im happy that i will be getting great care. It does just remind me though how serious this pregnancy is.

She said the reasons were not the baby, the baby should be fine. The problem is sewing me back up. She thinks they will have to do a hysterectomy, which im okay with since i have a fibroid anyway that will probably have to be removed and dont want another abd surgery. She also is worried how they will seperate my uterus from my abd wall and also my intestines. She said this hospital has specialist on hand that will be able to assist if needed.

Just figured id give you all an update, ill feel even better im sure once i actually get in over there but until then im content. Thanks for all your help!!

Glad for you!! The Level 1 trauma center will be able to provide you the care that you require. Good luck!

So glad you posted an update. I know we're not supposed to talk about religion but I hope it's ok to say I've been praying for you. I worry about my health and being here to take care of my babies. I'm happy your getting great care!

Glad to hear the update and that you are feeling better about it all. ((Hugs))

Thanks everyone for your support!

And Flourgirl, I really appreciate that. Trust me, that does not offend, I need them!!