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KJac (original poster member #21332) posted at 11:42 PM on Monday, March 10th, 2014
I've had it. After all the years of taking his abuse I probably would have just taken some scraps and crawled away to lick my wounds and heal myself... HE WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE. He has to continuously try to fuck w/me anyway he possibly can and he has now pushed me over the edge.
I will now be informing my L to go after every single asset he has hidden (my L already has a pretty sizeable chunk of paperwork I managed to secure that I'd told him to "just hold on to" for now)
We live in a 50-50 state but my STBX seems to think he'll just take a fraction of the debt, pay me nothing, keep our assets himself, and not disclose ANY of his "side" income - even the stuff he KNOWS I'm aware of ...
Maybe I would have even settled for some of this a*sf*ucking but it just wasn't enough for him. No, he has to keep "poking the bear" and can't leave me alone - he's trying to get to me ever so subtly/manipulatively through friends/family. Well, he has finally pushed me over the edge. He wants to fight? Ok, here I go.
Wish me luck because he truly terrifies me. His manipulations and absolute puke behavior know NO bounds. I will be heading on down to the NPD thread (I've been reading there aplenty) as he fits right in... but any and all advice to help me prepare is welcomed w/open arms!!!
Me-BS39
Him-WS/STBX41 Last OW/Current GF22
M 17yrs Together 20
Cheated our whole relationship Multiple Ddays, Multiple OW, Multiple EAs and PAs
DS19, TwinDSs18, DD13
DIVORCED 11/14
Gemini71 ( member #40115) posted at 11:49 PM on Monday, March 10th, 2014
I don't have any advice, but I'm sending prayers and positive thoughts. Good luck!
DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF
Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014
sunsetslost ( member #39885) posted at 11:50 PM on Monday, March 10th, 2014
Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 12:31 AM on Tuesday, March 11th, 2014
Good for you! Make sure your boots go with the image below, as I'm living proof that divorcing a NPD asshole is a Scorched Earth scenario! I say that not to scare you but to prepare you! Get the book "Splitting" by Bill Eddy. Get it now & hang on!
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
careerlady ( member #16958) posted at 12:33 AM on Tuesday, March 11th, 2014
(((KJac)))
I so don't have the balls to go toe to toe with my NPD STBX. Will be cheering you on from the sidelines though. Get what's yours for you and your littles!
Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI
Tripletrouble ( member #39169) posted at 12:39 AM on Tuesday, March 11th, 2014
Go tear it up!! You have the element of surprise on your side. These overconfident douches think they own their spouses. I hope we see you back in some amount of time holding a trophy over your head!
40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.
KJac (original poster member #21332) posted at 1:27 AM on Tuesday, March 11th, 2014
I'm entering the ring under no illusions and I am extremely grateful for all who have and continue to post their stories and experiences here... I may very well end up w/absolutely nothing but dammit I'm so very tired of taking his shit and am ashamed of this shell of a person I've become soooo... I am fighting back!!
Note: I am not completely stupid however, and will proceed w/caution - but let me be clear - I WILL PROCEED.
Me-BS39
Him-WS/STBX41 Last OW/Current GF22
M 17yrs Together 20
Cheated our whole relationship Multiple Ddays, Multiple OW, Multiple EAs and PAs
DS19, TwinDSs18, DD13
DIVORCED 11/14
hope2014 ( member #42707) posted at 1:41 AM on Tuesday, March 11th, 2014
Good luck!! Your strength and courage are inspirational. Don't lose sight of your end goal. Hang on to your anger to the extent possible. He is going to use every tool he has to try to make you feel bad about doing this. Stand your grand! You are worth it!
Me - BS; 36
Him - WH; 35
Married - 16 years
2 Kids - Ages 3 and 6
DDay - 2/26/14
dmari ( member #37215) posted at 1:49 AM on Tuesday, March 11th, 2014
Go for it!! Even if you don't get what you deserve financially, the fact that you are refusing to take his shit is a WIN! I don't have advice but I am sending you a ton of strength and peace!
bigskyblues ( member #36759) posted at 10:39 AM on Tuesday, March 11th, 2014
No advice, but kick some ass!
BSB
BH 50s
xWW 50s
Dday1 7-2012
Dday2 8-2012
Divorce 9-2012
4 kids all adults.
Married 22+ years.
I have moved on and life is good!
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