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I was wondering if anyone can give me some insufgt to why my husband is so angry and defensive with me - you would think I was the one that betrayed - been 7 months fighting on and off , when we r getting along ok ow seems to do something to stir the pot - we have bagged her out to him .also. He is still living with ow completely changed in personality and values ow married 3 times 5 kids 3 fathers etc completely opposite to me including job etc I have good paying respected position at financial instution she works at a meat plant and is very rough dosnt make sense .were together 3 years 3 beautiful kids and 2 new grand babies and he dosnt c any of them how is he really feeling . Any suggestions would help thanks

Guilt maybe? You don't need his abuse. Steer clear of him for a while. And there's no need to compare yourself to the OW. She's a bottom-feeding tramp who is satisfied with some other woman's leftovers. You know what you want and deserve only the best, including a faithful partner. Be strong and hang in there.

Why are you even bothering with him if he's already left home and now living with his princess?

Your kids are grown, so it's not like you need to talk to him about visitation, splitting the cost of braces, or new school wardrobes for your kids. At this point, all your communication can be done between your lawyers - I'm assuming you've been to a lawyer and started divorce proceedings so you can protect yourself financially?

He made his bed, now let him lie in it. But that doesn't mean he has to drag you down into his slimey new life, too.

You need to go completely NC with him except for the very brief, necessary decision about division of assets for your divorce. No other reaching out, no other contact, nothing.

Giddy, he's fired you as his wife. He left you to go live with his GutterTrashHo. And the OW is going to take him for ALL he's worth. You need to protect your assets because he is already spending YOUR money on HER. 1/2 of all the money that he is using to finance his rainbow-fart land-o-glory is yours, so in essence, YOU are being ripped off. That has to stop. Immediately.

He's angry, because he f-ed up and has to blame it on someone. And that person is you. Because he's too much of a coward to admit that he let his lower head do the thinking and now he's facing the consequences of losing his family, his lifestyle, and everything else that he's worked for all of his life, for a woman that will have to be buried in a Y-shaped coffin when the stake is driven through her non-existent heart. SOMEONE has to be blamed, and since it couldn't possible be him, it has to be you.

Giddy,

Call a lawyer today and get all the finances he can get you.

This guy is behind you now, leave him there and don't look back. Salvage as much resources and money as you can get, and move on.

Find a better man.

Thanks guys u r all right I know I need to move on just hard after 32 years I keep trying to find the man he was in the monster as he was caught and it was a complete shock . I will get sorted straight away as I need to now because my job now has been made redundant

[This message edited by Giddy at 2:38 PM, March 12th (Wednesday)]

Of course he is angry with you - you remind him of the worst of himself - of the lies he's told of the commitments he has broken of the people he has hurt. That's a lot of crap to accept about oneself - so he has transferred it to you. His sub-conscious is saying, "I'm not that bad it must have been her fault"

It is very hard for a WS to accept what they have done - to be honest with themselves - it is so much easier to blame the BS.

It makes it easier when their is an OW telling him he is great - she too is transferring her guilt and shame.