I wrote all my PWs on a paper and made a space for WH. I have nothing to hide other than research I have tried to do on him... I left the paper on his laptop and sat as he looked questioningly at it. Told him, you have to do this if we are to go forward. He smiled and said sure, I would have done it before but -something about me overreacting to things that meant nothing. I was happy he didn't bat an eye. He said some he wasn't sure of, talked about having trouble signing out of gmail and signing back in. So he messed around for a bit on his laptop, I was sitting across from him watching TV and half joked about deleting things and he said no, just looking some things up unrelated. I had to get up to do some things and thought he was just doing general surfing, as he read some stuff out loud.
So this morning when he went to work, I thought, good, I can ease my mind that there would be nothing there. I figured he would have deleted the Dday pic I already knew about way before, which he should have. Well, there was nothing left other than his recycle bin emptied, and net history deleted, which is not normal. But I found where he had accessed some folders last night. Also some media programs that had files with names recently access, those files now gone. And files that had gone through webmail, making me think he sent them to an email acct, then deleted. One of the names must be the latest AP. The other is from a past AP he was going to leave for over 10 years ago before we were married. But he had been in touch w/her 5 yrs ago. She is married kids, lives in another state far away, so thought that was the end when I told him it was wrong to correspond with her.
Then I realize he conveniently never did fill in his gmail pw on the paper. Took a pic of the info on the screen and texted to him. Told him if he has those pics he better not delete, he must email to me or we are through. He sent back screen captures of his photo albums on his phone like that is proof he doesn't have them... Like I am an idiot. Said the one from the years ago AP was just a holloween pic. Why would he keep anything from her and not tell me, so even that is bad enough. But that I asked if he was deleting and he lied. And I asked before if there were any other pics of the AP and he lied about that too.
He didn't want to argue by text and I said ok as I had stuff to do. So..... Not sure how it will go when he gets home. But I have found some strength and plan to use it! I may not have looked enough to find the pics, but he made it easy when he deleted them.. Also told him he has to give names. There is no reason what so ever I can see for him to protect the AP over me. Not that I would contact her, just don't believe how they met.