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ThatGuyNoMore (original poster member #42899) posted at 4:48 AM on Friday, April 11th, 2014
Can anyone give me advice on how I can constructively deal with my BS's feelings of inadequacy? I totally understand why she feels inadequate, and she has no reason to believe any of the reassurances I give her. I just want to care for her & help her to heal.
Me and BW both 50
Married 24 years, 4 kids
D-Day 3/5/14
14 years of infidelity including multiple ONS and a 6½ yr LTA
I lied to everyone including myself.
BrokenButTrying ( member #42111) posted at 8:01 AM on Friday, April 11th, 2014
Time. Consistency of action from you. Find out her love language and speak it to her everyday.
It's not an easy task, I'm struggling with it too. I'm only 4 months out, hopefully someone with better advice will be along shortly.
Hang in there.
Madhatters - We have R'd.
Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. We can do this.
Aubrie ( member #33886) posted at 3:17 PM on Friday, April 11th, 2014
BBT kind of already nailed it.
If your Dday is anywhere near your registration date, you're at the very beginning of this nightmare rollercoaster of healing. Buckle up. It's a wild ride.
Check out the Healing Library. Yellow box on the left. Also check out "How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair". Short read. Packed with info.
http://www.amazon.com/Help-Your-Spouse-Heal-Affair/dp/145055332X
There is no magic fix. This doesn't change on 2 weeks, 2 weeks, shoot sometimes 2 years. The "suggested" timeline for healing from infidelity is roughly 2 - 5 years, if there are no new hurts. To be honest, for most people it's closer to 5 years. Not trying to discourage or scare you. Just shooting straight.
Time. Consistency. Patience.
Good luck.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
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