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Newest Member: Birthdaydiscovery

Divorce/Separation :
S in house - have not told kids

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 emptiness2014 (original poster member #43092) posted at 3:42 PM on Monday, April 14th, 2014

My husband recently came out of the closet. We tried to make it work, since we had a great marriage, were best friends, had a great sex life, and two wonderful kids. Then a few weeks ago I found a secret email account with emails for hook ups and dating profiles online. He met up with at least two men, and one of them came here. He still maintains he didn't follow through with anything with them. He couldn't do it.

He always thought he was straight.

Anyway, we are separated in the same house - for financial reasons and because we have two young kids (about to turn 5 and 2).

We have not told them. My DD (about to turn 5 next month) knows we no longer share a bedroom, but has not asked why, or said anything more about it.

We don't fight. Really, the only thing that has changed is sleeping arrangements and that we show no affection towards each other anymore (we used to show a lot of affection).

How do I tell the kids? We have always put a huge emphasis on family together time.

BS (me): 32
WH: 33
Married: Feb 3, 2007
Discovery: Mar 26, 2014
Child 1: May 27, 2009
Child 2: May 23, 2012

posts: 116   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2014   ·   location: canada
id 6758784
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deena ( member #27275) posted at 4:28 PM on Monday, April 14th, 2014

I got a lot of advice from people here from my post "when the kids don't know"

I have older kids, but some of what others have said is that you never hide things from the kids. They will pick up that there is something wrong and come to their own conclusions.

That can be more hurtful than the truth, even if it is a watered down version of the truth because of your kids ages.

You can read all of the replies in my post. Something there may still help you.

((((((emptiness2014)))))))

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's
better to leave them broken than to hurt
yourself putting it back together.



posts: 3268   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2010   ·   location: Canada
id 6758835
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betrayedidiot ( member #42868) posted at 7:17 PM on Monday, April 14th, 2014

I don't have any advice, but just wanted to say that is so sad! I'm so sorry!

Me: BS
Married almost 20 years
2 year EA and 1 month PA
DD-16
D-Day: 01/14/14
Separated and divorcing

posts: 92   ·   registered: Mar. 24th, 2014   ·   location: TX
id 6759092
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