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EvenKeel (original poster member #24210) posted at 3:14 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
I have been dating someone since Jan. I have met his children but have not spent a lot of time with them due to newness of our relationship (taking it slow, etc).
All their bdays are within the month. I will not see any of them on their bdays (we live about 45 mins apart). Should I acknowledge their birthdays and if so, what is appropriate?
I do not want to go overboard (or underboard) but I do realize I am setting precedent here.
gotmylifeback ( member #32693) posted at 3:30 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
Her-Unremorseful, Wayward ex wife
Me-No longer a betrayed husband
Happily remarried.
"Even a dead fish will go with the flow. Don't be a dead fish." - my pastor.
cmego ( member #30346) posted at 3:52 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
My gut reaction is no. Or, maybe the next time you are spending time with them, offer to buy ice-cream or something as a birthday treat?
Next year, after you've been together a year or more?? Sure! Acknowledge away...
me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced
EvenKeel (original poster member #24210) posted at 5:27 PM on Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
They are turning 9 and 15. Part of me thinks give they something small to acknowledge it....other part thinks to let it go since it is still new? IDK - I will see them both this weekend (Dead center between both of their bdays).
[This message edited by EvenKeel at 11:28 AM, April 16th (Wednesday)]
RavenWood ( member #39847) posted at 5:06 AM on Thursday, April 17th, 2014
I would get them something small as a token of recognizing it. I'd find it awkward not to acknowledge their birthday - sort of the elephant in the room.
Whatever you do, make sure it is about them and not you. There is nothing worse than their father calling them over because "EvenKeel wants to talk to you". "Now kids, what do we say to EvenKeel? How about a thank you?!". "Boy kids, isn't EvenKeel great for remembering your birthday?"
Yeah Dad... She's amazing and it's clearly all about her...
BS: Me (30s)
Status: Divorced Jan 2014.
DDay: May 2013
wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 5:52 AM on Thursday, April 17th, 2014
I'm with RavenWood - I think it would be nice to acknowledge their birthdays with something small but nothing overboard. Maybe a Target gift card? Or treat them to pizza or a movie they've been wanting to see?
Gah, I don't know. I'm not very good at this either. 
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
thyme2go ( member #12908) posted at 6:48 AM on Thursday, April 17th, 2014
BH - no longer 50
3 DD's - (32, 28 and 21)
Divorced on 8/6/09
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 3:54 PM on Thursday, April 17th, 2014
Ask their dad what he thinks would be best. Would a small gift be okay, or is it too soon? Then do what he suggests. Every family is different...you don't have to figure out the rules, you can ask.
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 4:22 PM on Thursday, April 17th, 2014
I was thinking card and iTunes gift card, if anything.
You won't be spending their birthday with them though, will you? It seems early to be joining the family festivities.
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
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