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AppalachianGal (original poster member #31672) posted at 3:58 PM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014
Had a discussion with fWH at the beginning of the week and asked if there was ever anything that was a line in the sand for him, a dealbreaker? What was one thing that he always said he wouldn't want, wouldn't tolerate out of a wife? The only thing he could come up with was "arguing." He never wanted a marriage full of disagreement. Isn't that some funny $hit. Anyway, I asked if I had an affair would he stay with me as long as we were getting along and I treated him well. He said --- yes. It was more important to him that we got along than it was for me to be faithful. WTH?
For me, I always wanted a faithful marriage. I NEVER wanted a cheating spouse. From the time I was a little girl, I've known this. I have what I never wanted. 
Oh, he has also decided he wants to come here to SI and read on the Wayward Spouse forum. I'm all for it. I think he's going to get the shock of his life.
BS (me) 45; WS, 48
M - 1990; 3 adult children
Burner phones, Multiple EAs/PAs, ONS, Backpage/Craigs List prostitutes were the final straw. Separated 03/20/17- Divorced 11/14/17
mchercheur ( member #37735) posted at 8:57 PM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014
Is it possible to have a marriage without ever having an argument? Two different people are not going to agree on everything. Of course, hopefully there is healthy discussion about the disagreement, not name-calling or putting the other person down.
Infidelity, on the other hand, ends marriages.
Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be
steadfast1973 ( member #24719) posted at 9:01 PM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014
he has skewed priorities.
Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"
LovelyDaffodils ( member #42822) posted at 9:12 PM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014
What I never wanted? The last 20 years. So to go back and wish for what I missed I would have to say the feeling I wasn't hated. That I could be myself. No wonder I grew to hate myself.
Having a bad day today. Just over all this and reverting back to that hopeless feeling. WH seems to be trying. I just can't help but feel it is too late. I learned years ago I don't need a man to feel good enough. The one man I wanted, I feel hated me all this time. I should have worked on "me" before we got married. It may have made me see I should have left him and his angry attitude. So yeah, I know now that I never wanted to be in a M unless I knew who I was and what I could bring to it.
BS me 51
WS 44
OW easy NSA he told he was single
9 mo A
DDay 1/3/14
TT 2 wks later
still waiting for the rest
Married 13 yrs
Together 22
In house S Limbo
justinpaintoday ( member #42858) posted at 9:24 PM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014
Sorry for the pain today. The stupid things they say to deflect and minimize their choices.
I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.
IWantDoOver ( member #39440) posted at 9:32 PM on Thursday, April 24th, 2014
The only thing he could come up with was "arguing." He never wanted a marriage full of disagreement.
He's going to be doing some work on Conflict Avoidance, right?
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