"I'm just flirty"
Gently, this is about as far from true remorse as is possible. They would be torn a new one in the Wayward forum for a comment like that.
It is what those in False R say.
About 2.5m into a 3m False R the sad clown bought a woman at a bar a drink right in front of me - his reasoning? It was just a drink, she works there and gets drinks for free so declined, I was just offering, I saw little harm in it.
A week later he had a 1:1 lunch with his office gopher to discuss her becoming his assistant - the same office gopher who he had confessed he had tried to make a move on barely 4m prior during first S. I didn't say anything until after the lunch. I asked him what if I told him a story about a guy who had cheated on his wife less than 5m prior and he had a 1:1 lunch like that - would he think that was appropriate or showed boundaries? He fell on his face bawling/begging - "Oh my god - you're so right! That was completely inappropriate! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME. I'm begging you - I'm learning here."
Yeah - I'm learning too. I realised at that moment that he had been getting away with it for so long he thought it would continue.
20w after S this 40 y/o loser tells me he is ready to introduce his 24 y/o office gopher to my girls as his GF. She wasn't even DDOW - she was an LTA of at least 4 years which I didn't realise to that point. Not because I trusted his fidelity but because I trusted her taste.
True Remorse isn't about wanting to save your M - it has to be about wanting to change your fucked up coping mechanisms and your fucked up boundaries. To change yourself.
Comments like "I'm just flirty", "it was just a drink" or any "just" excuse is them holding tight to their toxic selves. Defending it and protecting their right to it. Their right to stay on that slippery slope.
They do have a right to keep it all - just not to keep us too.
He thought promising not to fuck another was enough. I thought I already had that promise when we married - turns out it didn't mean shit to him or to me anymore.
Be very careful about what you're doing here. I see you trying to convince yourself that she has true remorse just as I did, as we all did. Hoping for it doesn't make it true. Lying to yourself doesn't make it true. Eating her bullshit doesn't make it true.
You don't realise it but she is making a clear decision here - time to stop listening to her pretty words and let the ugly words/actions sink in.
You're on your way to a DD #2 - it might take a few months or years but it is coming if you let this bullshit slide.