This Topic is Archived
kebp (original poster new member #43200) posted at 6:27 PM on Friday, May 2nd, 2014
How does one get past the jealousy or hurt of FWH being intimate with the FOW?
Prior to the A, both myself and my FWH were each others first and only. Knowing that he has been intimate with someone else has been heartbreaking as well as causing me to worry about comparison and sadly, even jealousy. There are times that I feel that the special intimate moments we shared are no longer mine. And although I have jealous moments that he knows what intimacy is like with someone else, I have never wanted to take sexual revenge.
We have come a long way in our R and I am confident in his love and commitment to me since the NC. I just need advise on how to get past this mental/emotional problem. I am desperately wanting to finally and completely get rid of the FOW from taking up mental space.
[This message edited by kebp at 12:53 PM, May 2nd (Friday)]
Branca ( member #42837) posted at 8:15 PM on Friday, May 2nd, 2014
(((kebp)))
I am sorry I don't have much in the way of advice to offer. I'm sure someone will have some helpful ideas to try.
How long have you been R? You say you've come a long way, but how long in terms of time?
Some feelings just seem to take a very long time to fade in their intensity.
Me: BW, 39
Him: WH, 39
Married 15 years
2 children aged 11 and 8
DD #1 26 August 2013 - EA on FB and phone with a former flame OW#2 for about 8 months
DD #2 30 April 2014 - A lack of boundaries for 10 months in 2011 with OW#1
hopefull77 ( member #43221) posted at 2:34 AM on Saturday, May 3rd, 2014
I could have written this post...before his A we too were our one and only... I have struggled with this from day one. Especially since she is from our high school days together...I was jealous that she ' knew' him...when I talked to my IC she got in my face and said SHE DOESN'T KNOW HIM...she was right...they were two very fractured people that got their rocks off together...he knows what making love REALLY means...that guy who he never WANTED to be was a selfish ass...she can have those memories...she divorced her husband in the middle of all this mess...
I hope she finds peace
me-BS him-WS
" I will not define myself by what went wrong yesterday when I can draw upon Life and Love right now."
This Topic is Archived
