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Newest Member: WishingINeverLooked

Divorce/Separation :
What am I supposed to be missing about StBX?

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 Gemini71 (original poster member #40115) posted at 11:07 PM on Friday, May 2nd, 2014

My boys are 12 and 8 and they still don't know how to ride a two-wheeler. Due to chronic back problems, I can't run next to them while they learn. STBXH...well I don't know what his excuse is.

My boys' bikes are in storage because we lost our house due to STBXH's fuckery. The weather's been okay so the boys have been asking about them. My parents, whom the kids and I are living with, got a couple of my nephew's old bikes, took them to a bike shop for a tune up, and are now outside having a 'bike wash' with the boys. The plan is to take them to the park tomorrow to teach them to ride without training wheels on a gentle grassy hill there.

For a moment I felt sad for STBXH missing out on this little slice of life. Then I thought, "FTG!" Shortly after S I asked him if he missed us. He said he "missed the noise we'd make." WTF? The noise??!! What about doing things with us, or talking with us? But I guess he hadn't really been doing that for a long time.

Also today, I let DD17 play hookey to take the Driver's Test. (She passed first try! ) Then we went out to lunch together and discussed the upcoming EuroVision semi-finals and how best to watch them next week. Then she decided to go pickup DS12 from school to "show him she got her license and could drive by herself." Another once in a lifetime moment he's totally missing out on.

So what am I supposed to miss about my old life? I was basically a single parent before. Now I have my parents to help and share the joys. All that's missing is a sex life. I guess that's what they make BOBs for, and I don't have to worry about STDs.

Half of my purpose is to share and encourage others. The other half is to help drill into my own head that the 'pity party' is over. Time to copy and paste this to my journal to re-read when I'm feeling low.

DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

posts: 3406   ·   registered: Jul. 30th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois, USA
id 6783636
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tesla ( member #34697) posted at 5:14 PM on Saturday, May 3rd, 2014

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6784316
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myowndystopia ( member #41340) posted at 7:23 PM on Saturday, May 3rd, 2014

Hope there is lots of success with 2 wheeler bike riding!!!

Me- BS
Him - WS (the Grub)
married 28 years/4 kids(mostly grown)

"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
Adele

posts: 408   ·   registered: Nov. 14th, 2013
id 6784411
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PurpleRose ( member #33129) posted at 10:43 PM on Saturday, May 3rd, 2014

Exactly.

Onward and upward. You are there to enjoy the memories and share the stories and experiences- and that is all that matters now!

divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...

posts: 3871   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2011   ·   location: Happyville
id 6784562
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 10:52 PM on Saturday, May 3rd, 2014

I taught my son to ride his bike with two wheels. I'm the one who gives him athletic tips. I'm the one who makes sure he sees professional sporting events and knows to hold the door open for women & old people. I'm the one who talks to him about sex & all that goes with it and puberty. Bullies? Star Wars? How to calculate a tip? Yeah, those are my department, too.

There's nothing to miss here.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6784571
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justinpaintoday ( member #42858) posted at 11:02 PM on Saturday, May 3rd, 2014

I think we miss 2 thongs...when it was good and what we hoped it could become. Once you accept that the healing accelerates. Sounds like you are on your way sister

I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

posts: 700   ·   registered: Mar. 22nd, 2014
id 6784579
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justinpaintoday ( member #42858) posted at 11:03 PM on Saturday, May 3rd, 2014

2 things....not thongs

Had to look up BOB in abreviations too

I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

posts: 700   ·   registered: Mar. 22nd, 2014
id 6784581
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