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General :
panic at the grocery store

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 Jbluebird (original poster member #43185) posted at 9:19 PM on Tuesday, May 6th, 2014

So today is my WH birthday and I go to the store to get his fav dessert as a surprise and who do I see?? The OW for the first time. I was with our kids. She stared at me. I felt rage and incredible sadness at the same time. Held it together flew outta there n came home. I was so determined to make today a good day n now I am sick. I feel so ugly and stupid and embarrassed and angry. I didn't tell him because I don't want to bring that up today. Uggghhhh I feel like the universe is out to destroy me.

Married 2005
DDay 1 2 months before wedding
DDay 2 Sept2006(denied til Dec'11)
2009 my A (open relationship BS)
2010 FALSE R
DDay Dec 2011
False R for 2 years
DDAY Jan 2014

3 awesome kids! (My light)

posts: 50   ·   registered: Apr. 22nd, 2014
id 6788109
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 Jbluebird (original poster member #43185) posted at 9:23 PM on Tuesday, May 6th, 2014

And to top it off I come home to him wearing the shirt I suspect he wore out with her. I don't want to act out but this anger is killing me. Why does the stupid shirt bother me so much??!

Married 2005
DDay 1 2 months before wedding
DDay 2 Sept2006(denied til Dec'11)
2009 my A (open relationship BS)
2010 FALSE R
DDay Dec 2011
False R for 2 years
DDAY Jan 2014

3 awesome kids! (My light)

posts: 50   ·   registered: Apr. 22nd, 2014
id 6788114
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heartbroken2012 ( member #38089) posted at 9:31 PM on Tuesday, May 6th, 2014

It is hard to see the OW. It is like someone is stabbing you in the heart, and then it makes you want to run at them with a bat.

I have to see the horrible wretched slut quiet often in her car.

I have resolved that if I see her at the grocery store, I will go up and say that I am surprised they let ugly, old, white trash home wrecking sluts shop in their store. And I will tell her to die and go to hell. (I know you aren't supposed to give them the satisfaction of letting them know they have space in your head, but...as some WS say while in the fog...I couldnt help myself.)

I feel for you.

[This message edited by heartbroken2012 at 3:33 PM, May 6th (Tuesday)]

BS(Me)
WH(Him)
OW - (former co worker of WH)
Dday: Dec 2012

posts: 608   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2013
id 6788126
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 Jbluebird (original poster member #43185) posted at 9:33 PM on Tuesday, May 6th, 2014

I wish I could say something like that. I know myself well enough that is she said anything fly back my self control would go out the window....

Married 2005
DDay 1 2 months before wedding
DDay 2 Sept2006(denied til Dec'11)
2009 my A (open relationship BS)
2010 FALSE R
DDay Dec 2011
False R for 2 years
DDAY Jan 2014

3 awesome kids! (My light)

posts: 50   ·   registered: Apr. 22nd, 2014
id 6788128
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JanetS ( member #2766) posted at 9:36 PM on Tuesday, May 6th, 2014

I'd ask him to toss the shirt.

Sorry you were triggered today.

posts: 3077   ·   registered: Nov. 25th, 2003   ·   location: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
id 6788134
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 9:37 PM on Tuesday, May 6th, 2014

I think you shouldn't force yourself to swallow all of this pain & agony all by yourself. You are in pain. You have been wounded. I think you should tell him and let him walk through this with you.

Martyrs never come out of their trials alive.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6788142
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mightsurvive ( new member #38794) posted at 10:33 PM on Tuesday, May 6th, 2014

I have seen the OW at the grocery store several times. Totally gets me and now just going there I feel I will run into her. The last time I saw her I confronted her...didn't help. You did the right thing there but maybe reconsider sharing with your WH but after you cool down a bit? This pain is too much to bear by yourself.

BW 37-me
WH 40
Kids
Dday Dec 2011
Reconciling

posts: 48   ·   registered: Mar. 23rd, 2013   ·   location: midwest
id 6788217
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devasted30 ( member #39439) posted at 10:34 PM on Tuesday, May 6th, 2014

Hell, burn the shirt. I did and it felt great. And anything else he wore that reminds you of the OW. Clothes are replaceable, you are not!!!

And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!

posts: 1944   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2013   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6788220
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 Jbluebird (original poster member #43185) posted at 2:51 AM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014

It took some time but I calmed down, cleared my head and decided to not make an issue. I kindly asked him to change his shirt and he obliged but it was awkward because he wanted to know why and I didn't want to get into it. I really want a break from all this. I decided yesterday I just wasn't going to let my mind wander today, we had an lot going on and I wanted to just busy myself for a much needed break. Well talk about it tomrw at MC

thanks for the support & words- it helped so much to let it out to someone!

Married 2005
DDay 1 2 months before wedding
DDay 2 Sept2006(denied til Dec'11)
2009 my A (open relationship BS)
2010 FALSE R
DDay Dec 2011
False R for 2 years
DDAY Jan 2014

3 awesome kids! (My light)

posts: 50   ·   registered: Apr. 22nd, 2014
id 6788487
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