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Newest Member: Missmee

New Beginnings :
Feeling Free

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 DepressedDaddy (original poster member #41521) posted at 4:50 AM on Friday, May 16th, 2014

I just have to say that even though I am so far away from wanting to get back in the dating world, it is nice to feel free in some ways. In the last couple weeks I have found that there have been women that have flirted with me and I didn't feel guilty flirting back. I am not flirting because I am interested in pursuing relationships with these people, it just feels good to have someone that shows interest in me. I was in my relationship with my STBXWW for 16 years, so it has been a long time since I have been in this situation.

It makes me feel like there is hope down the line that being back on the market will give me a different feeling of loss and heartache.

Since D I have become DDaddy 2.0 - or better known as DevotedDaddy

“Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so."

posts: 1255   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2013
id 6801088
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cmego ( member #30346) posted at 1:34 PM on Friday, May 16th, 2014

HA! Yes, no doubt that being back on the market brings different "feelings". I remember thinking that once I was "ready", it would be easy. Two years dating now, and easy hasn't happened for me.

That, in itself, is another form of loss. When you think dating and a new relationship will be easy since it was so easy the "first time". I expected it to be just as easy the "second time" and it was a shock when that was not the case.

BUT, my quality of dating has become better. I am more relaxed and the quality of men I am meeting are great. I just haven't met someone that clicks along in everything. I am still hopeful, though.

me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced

posts: 4745   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: South
id 6801402
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Smashedat58 ( member #41705) posted at 3:33 PM on Friday, May 16th, 2014

I have had one date since I started my separation, 4 1/2 months ago, I have another coming up this weekend. In my limited experience, I go through this emotional bounce of elation, then worry, and feelings of possible rejection. Maybe, I felt those as a younger person, but I can't remember back that far. I also, still go from calm to mad as hell when in mediation with STBXH. I just hope that I get to a stage where I can handle my overwhelming emotion, and not feel like a teenager, again. If I got some flirts from the opposite sex, I don't think I would necessarily feel this need to put myself out there for dating. I just need some reassurance that I am still desirable.

Be glad for the attention, I say, but be prepared for the emotional bounce.

posts: 178   ·   registered: Dec. 18th, 2013   ·   location: Upstate New York
id 6801576
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