SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

During mediation we agreed that what he brought into the marriage would be given back to him and as I am keeping the family home that I would keep the contents, which really is nothing exciting. He brought a lot of furniture, antiques, into the marriage and I didn't ask to keep any of it.

So I've asked him to get his stuff out by early June, he of course is being cagey about when he will even come because it will be expensive for him to rent a truck and a storage locker, poor thing. The BIG problem that I now have is when I told him I'd pack his stuff up and put it in the garage for moving day he has now responded with saying that he wants to go through the house because it's not reasonable for me to keep everything! Oh hell no.

I fear this is getting ugly, once again.

I kicked him out our last dday and he hasn't been in the house since, it's a massive trigger to have him do so. Question for you all is does he have a right to come back in here to pack up his things and go 'shopping' for whatever else he wants? How did all of you deal with packing especially if you, the BS, are still in the home?

I had to endure a day of him going through stuff, with me stuck to his side because he'd already tried to sneak stuff out previously.

I made sure the children were out all day. I now wish I'd had someone there with me too.

At one point I did lose it: He complained that he wanted some of my personal/gifted books and my new bookcase. I told him no. Then we went into another room and he was annoyed that I wanted to keep 2 books from one whole bookcase (he'd already taken 2 large bookcases worth of books and was emptying a third). So I told him that was what you got from fucking someone else. It's called a consequence, those were joint marital assets and that meant that they had to be divided. And hey, wasn't this what he'd wanted all along? Why was he so unhappy.?!?

I was so hurt/angry. It was very, very hard.

Softcentre, that makes me just sick to think of. Him going through the whole house and me standing by. It's insane is what it is. I wonder if I have the right to tell him he can't come in the house? I have been awarded the home in the split but the divorce doc is going through lawyers right now so it remains unsigned.

Thanks for the tip about having someone be there with me, I hope it doesn't come to that. Why don't these guys just slink the hell off with their tails between their legs like they should??

He probably knows this will piss you off which is the exactly reason why he is trying to get back in the house. If I were in your shoes, I would make it clear that I was calling the shots. I like the idea of moving all of his things into the garage for moving day. Once he has removed all items from the garage (how long do you think that will take?), then have 1 - 2 neutral parties with you while he does a walk through. Let him make a list of items he would like. Give yourself 24 hours to decide what items he can/can't remove. Then agree on a date for him to remove said items from the garage.

FTG. and tons of hugs for you (((((StrongAlone)))))

I don't understand, is this already in the settlement? I would contact my lawyer and let him/her know that stbxpos needs to make a list of the antiques/furniture that he brought into the marriage and expects to take out. Specify a date that the shit has to be moved out (for ex-shat it was 30 days after the D was settled). Then have people present on the day he shows up. Big, strong, scary people. FTG.

I put piles in his space in the garage. Took a few weeks of doing this, but got it out each time he came to pick up the kids, AND prevented him from pulling into the garage:)

I like Tesla's idea. You have a mediated agreement. He doesn't get to change is mind now.

I would pack his stuff into the garage as you offered, then change the locks to the house. No way should he "go through the house!" FTG.

To protect yourself, take pictures of his stuff in the garage so he can't say you withheld it. Also, make sure he knows that things not picked up by ____ date are abandoned property and will be disposed of.

I gave him written notice, and one reminder to remove the residual skid mark of his pathetic existence from my house. 10 weeks is plenty of time to arrange a truck, or his pussy posse. On the date he was provided I moved the remainder of his shit out and put it in the car port. Its been sitting there for a week. This week it goes out to the curb, I want to park my car there. This need of his to cling... it is down right creepy. You know, in a creepy 50yr old drunk uncle with thinning hair who sends out pics of his junk on the internet kind of way. Oh. Wait. He is that guy. Good luck to the latest cumdumpster and good riddance to a parasitic waste of oxygen.

and that is how I got 'his stuff' out of the house.

I'd have an off-duty policeman there when he shows up. It will totally ruin his "fun" at being on your property.

I would have his things gathered in one spot. No walk through.

My off-duty policeman was in full uniform and drove his patrol vehicle. FT showed up with two other dudes to do an appraisal and was really surprised/embarrassed/angry. Win for Compartmented!! The other dudes slunk around and looked embarrassed.

Oh my god, some of your responses had me laughing so hard, that feels great!

We agreed in mediation for him to take his stuff and for me to keep mine but I'm kind of keeping the stuff that was 'ours' because I got rid of all my university stuff and he keep hauling his stupid antiques crap around everywhere. So yes you are all right, I'm going to ask for an itemized list and then pile it all in the basement so that he has a flight of stairs to go up and down.

Then when the day comes I will have my parents and my sister and her husband here to supervise. I'm getting my brother in law to move his dumb ass motorcycle out of the garage where it sits taking up just enough room so I can't park my car in there. What the hell is wrong with these guys?? He's such a giant dick wad.

At our hearing, we agreed he would bring 1 friend and I brought one friend. I had all the stuff in the garage. FTG he wasn't going to be in this house ever again!

That is exactly it Homewrecked. It's like I've cleared his disgusting juju out of the house and hell if I want him back in here ever again!

I'd change/add some locks to the doors and change the garage door codes if I were you. I wouldn't put it past him to come into the home while you aren't home.

GabyBaby I changed the locks on the day of my final DDay, best decision I ever made. Then my parents outfitted the garage with new shiny locks! I don't think I could sleep at night otherwise. Thanks though.

I just had this discussion with my attorney last week.

During the first (LS) hearing, the Skank Whore's lawyer made a big deal about some old cookware, some cheap "china" and some "crystal" (that is actually ordinary glass) that SW brought into the marriage. She (the SW's lawyer) kept saying that we need to arrange a time for SW to come "and go through the house" to get those items.

My lawyer told me to pack that crap in boxes, being careful not to damage it. Then let her know when the shit will be waiting on the curb a couple of days in advance so that she will have time to notify opposing counsel.

My order gives me "sole ownership, use, and control" of the house and all of it's contents.

SW snuck out in such a hurry that she left a LOT of other stuff here. Sentimental stuff... memories of dead family members and such. I am trying to decide if I want to be the "bigger" person and include that stuff, or assume that she cares about the memories of her family as much as she cares about the memories of our marriage... and just throw that shit away.

Decisions, decisions.

But I would say that depending on the conditions of your Order, you can curb his shit.

Pack it all up. Keep a list of everything you packed up, and perhaps pictures you can print out showing you packed it all into 10 boxes, a pic of 10 boxes in the garage, etc. Don't want them coming back later saying you didn't pack stuff you did.

Justjim...I'd pack up anything of hers that you don't want for her to pick up....think of it as free garbage pick up. You don't want it, you want it out of the house...yeah, she can take it all.