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 devasted30 (original poster member #39439) posted at 11:30 PM on Sunday, May 18th, 2014

So, I'm sitting here under the influence of tooooooooomuch wine and thinking, why????????

Why do we even bother trying? I mean, seriously, who gives a shit? They obviously didn't. They didn't care about us. They didn't care about unravelling our lives. They never thought about us when they met up with their "girlfriends"? W the F.... are we here worrying about how to keep this marriage together when it was obviously, the last thing on their minds.

Is this really worth it? Is this the "rest of our lives."

What did we do to deserve this type of treatment? If there is a God, wouldn't he, finally, take mercy on us and take us home?

I don't understand this. The pieces do not fit. How could my wonderful husband cheat on me for 7 years (off and off)??????

Am I really that bad? Am I really that awful of a person? If so, why am I still here? Oh, never mind, I remember, only the good die young!!!!

[This message edited by devasted30 at 5:31 PM, May 18th (Sunday)]

And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!

posts: 1944   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2013   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6804284
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justinpaintoday ( member #42858) posted at 11:33 PM on Sunday, May 18th, 2014

You are here because you are a wonderful woman. You did NOTHING to deserve to be cheated on. It was all him. You did nothing wrong. You are a blessing and you will endure and be stronger.

I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

posts: 700   ·   registered: Mar. 22nd, 2014
id 6804287
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Daisy312 ( member #36813) posted at 11:36 PM on Sunday, May 18th, 2014

I'm sorry you are hurting! I have had soo many days that are full of the exact thoughts. But for me I look into my two dds eyes and I remember why. Their daddy is finally the man I had always wanted and fooled myself into thinking he was. They deserve to have the life and family I intended for them when they were conceived. ((hugs)) only you can decide if and why you should stay. It is a decision I fight with daily! I'm going to try and if I can't doit, at least I know I tried.

posts: 324   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2012
id 6804289
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mchercheur ( member #37735) posted at 12:04 AM on Monday, May 19th, 2014

(((devasted30)))

You are not alone. We are all here with you.

Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2687   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 6804308
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Ivyivy ( member #42110) posted at 1:32 PM on Monday, May 19th, 2014

I have had the same thoughts as you so many times. You will have better days than this. It just takes lots of patience and time to get through all the rough days, but eventually these get a little milder and less frequent. Sending you strength to make it through all of the hardship.

Me -BW
Him - WH
LTA
Dday 7/11/2013
DS - 12 and DD - 16

posts: 334   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2014   ·   location: Northeast
id 6804738
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