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ImSorry11 (original poster member #43517) posted at 4:01 AM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
My MC has strongly recommended I go on ADs. I have a history of restricting (recovering anorexic) and my health has taken a nosedive after DDay. I'm 5'6" and down to 112. I want out of this effing fog. I haven't completely detached mentally from my AP but I'm DESPERATE to. I feel like a junkie. I've been tempted to break NC and I informed my BH of this. I'm determined to remain NC. How am I supposed to forget about AP when I dream about it every other night?
I'm desperate to escape this pain. The pain of loss, grief, and worthlessness. I don't think I'm suicidal but I fantasize about swallowing a bottle of pills and every day I wake up I wish I were dead. Will ADs help lessen these intense feelings? I know my MC & Bh think my first priority should be to get my eating under control.
Me: WW 33
Him: BH 37
DDay 5/23/14, 4 month EA/PA
Married 8 years Together 12
3 Beautiful Kiddos
Allornothing ( member #42354) posted at 4:25 AM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
(((hugs)))
Honey, please see your doctor and discuss the possibility of AD's. It sounds like you are in a very dark, scary place right now. AD's will help lift the heavy feeling from your shoulders, and lessen the dark thought processes you are currently going through. Clearing your thinking may also help you focus on getting your disordered eating under control as well.
Please, take care of you, help yourself in every way you can.
There are a lot of good people in these parts, they'll help you 
Me- BS 44
Him- FWH 44
Married 20 years, Together 27
Kids- 24,23,16,15
D Day- 7 Sept 2013
OW- Irrelevant
JaneDeaux ( member #42630) posted at 9:14 AM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
They can be life-changing and life-saving. See your doc ASAP!
BrokenButTrying ( member #42111) posted at 9:39 AM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
Please see your doctor as soon as possible. Anti D's will certainly help to focus your thinking and calm you down.
I have restrictive ED too and it came back with a vengeance after dday. 5'9 and back up to 119 now which is good, I feel better for it. Anti D's will help you feel more in control of your feelings so will lessen the need to control food.
Take care of yourself, Imsorry. Sending strength. We're here for you.
Madhatters - We have R'd.
Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. We can do this.
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