This Topic is Archived
Ambergray (original poster member #40778) posted at 5:51 AM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
Has anyone checked this on their spouse? I did and found searches for OW once, ex gfs, co workers (women), and sex searches.
How should I proceed? They are searches, not contact, but still...
Me-40
WH-40
Dday June 2013
"What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Jls0320 ( member #41192) posted at 6:03 AM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
I have looked, luckily I haven't found anything but if I do than crap will hit the fan. I'm sorry :(
Me: BS 2 young kiddos
Him: EXWH, SA/NPD, Craigslist, porn, cam sites. EA/PA with disgusting co-worker troll
Too many DDays 9/13-1/15, too many chances to be a good man
Together 16 yrs, married 7yrs,
Divorced 2/11/15
I deserve to be the ONLY one
FixYou71 ( member #42654) posted at 8:43 AM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
I'm sorry you had to find this hurtful information. I don't know your story but have you given him your requirements and list of dealbreakers? In other words, does he know that these behaviors (breaking no contact mentally with opposite sex etc) are unacceptable and will not be tolerated? Are there consequences laid out for him if he does cross these boundaries?
These are obviously red flags and completely prohibitive of true reconciliation If that is the goal. Since you are posting in general I'm not sure of the dynamics of your situation.
BS:44
H: 50
Dday #1 Oct 2007 (Porn for 2 yrs)
Dday #2 May 2013 (Porn for 5 more yrs))
Dday#3 May 2014 (finally admitted to drunk kissing OW in 1994: the 2nd drunken kiss with another woman during our M)
DD 22 and DS 18
Married 1993
Ostrich80 ( member #34827) posted at 10:13 AM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
I didn't know there was a search log. How do do it?
So do you think he's just peeking into diff profiles but not chatting?
I can see someone looking out of curiosity at someone they know but those other searches may be a step away from contact.
[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 4:16 AM, June 7th (Saturday)]
BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????
Ambergray (original poster member #40778) posted at 12:19 PM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
After sleeping on it, now I am more confused because I know I have used his fb to do searches on some of these women. Not the sex searches though.
Me-40
WH-40
Dday June 2013
"What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
rachelc ( member #30314) posted at 1:35 PM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
I did and found searches for OW once,
this would be a breech in NC for me. She's still in his head. I don';t want to be with him if he's thinking of her.
Is this a dealbreaker for you?
jendo ( member #43059) posted at 2:44 PM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
I keep an eye on this, but do know that they can delete searches if they want.
I did find where my WH searched ow, but it was just one week post dday. I confronted him and told him that nope, it's not ok and as far as I can tell he hasn't done it again.
BW Me (40ish)- now closer to 50
WH Him (40ish)- now closer to 50
Kids ages 10-20- now 18-28
Married 20 years- no2 28 years
OW 27- passed away 2/4/15 from cervical cancer
DDay 4/3/14- 6 month EA - Yes, I know he could be lying and
OutoftheDeep ( member #42601) posted at 4:14 PM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
I didn't know there was a search log. How do do it?
Log into fb
On the main page (not the newsfeed) near the main cover photo is a box that says "View Activity Log". Click it.
Now make sure and check the little box at the top of this that says "Include Only Me Activity"
It will show all searches, likes, statuses, etc.
Me - BW 40s
He - exWH 40s
2/15 Over. I had enough. I don't care anymore, and it feels awesome. He can have all the strippers, coworkers, and exes he wants now. Except now he doesn't think they're so appealing. Oh well.
OutoftheDeep ( member #42601) posted at 4:15 PM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
Also, everyone don't forget to check the "Other" section under Messages. This is a big theme in my latest thread and situation.
Me - BW 40s
He - exWH 40s
2/15 Over. I had enough. I don't care anymore, and it feels awesome. He can have all the strippers, coworkers, and exes he wants now. Except now he doesn't think they're so appealing. Oh well.
hopefulmother ( member #38790) posted at 5:04 PM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
The easiest thing would be to just block the OW's profile. Check to see if it remains blocked. After it gets unblocked, it can't be blocked again for I think 72hrs. Then you would have really caught him.
Me-BW 44
WH-44 zugzwang
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends since 1993
Married 2004 with 2 children
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 5:11 PM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
it can't be blocked again for I think 72hrs
48 actually.
and it's possible to remove content from the activity feed, so it's not fool proof if they're aware you're watching (or paranoid).
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
This Topic is Archived
