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Just Found Out :
Need some help

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 Wannascream (original poster new member #43837) posted at 4:26 PM on Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

I want to retrieve the deleted texts from H phone. Not all of them, just the 38 that were sent back and forth the day before he told me about the A. I know it will hurt. He has sort of told me the gist of what might be in them and claims he can't remember the details because they and she were not important to him. I'm so mad and confused. I feel like if I could see just the ones leading up to him telling me then I would either have proof that he is being honest and really does want to change or proof that he is still lying and is not worth my time and energy trying to save a marriage that is hopeless. I don't even know how to retrieve those texts, but with todays technology there must be a way to do it. Do any of you know how to or can point me in the right direction to figure out how to retrieve deleted texts?

posts: 6   ·   registered: Jun. 23rd, 2014
id 6846944
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NeverAgain2013 ( member #38121) posted at 5:13 PM on Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

She 'wasn't important to him' yet she took 38 texts and god knows how many calls and/or emails as well, to break up with?

Cheaters lie and deny and minimize and lie some more to save their hides - that's a given. Your husband remembers very well what those texts were about. Most cheaters lie and claim to have amnesia when you're pressing them for information. Therefore, if you ARE able to get those deleted texts, don't be surprised if they don't quite match what he's been claiming about her being so insignificant. I also wouldn't be one bit surprised if more than one of those deleted texts was a conversation between them about making sure that they have their "stories" straight should you go looking to her for the truth about their affair.

I don't know what kind of phone your husband has but I know there are SIM card readers for the older phones with SIM cards, which supposedly extract deleted texts. Maybe someone else will come along and offer more information.

Lastly, I think you need to have 51 valid posts here and you'd need to upgrade in order to access the Investigative Tips here on SI - there are ALL kinds of resources there to help you in your quest.

Good luck to you.

Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

posts: 6327   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2013   ·   location: USA
id 6847028
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ckss4 ( member #43691) posted at 5:18 PM on Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

I never knew you could get deleted texts. I smashed my husbands iphone, so I doubt I will ever get those texts. But I am glad you might.

posts: 58   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2014
id 6847034
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juggernaughtie ( new member #43763) posted at 5:57 PM on Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

It depends on what kind of phone he has. I was able to extract a lot of deleted things from my WW's iPhone. Its called Fonelab by Aiseesoft. Its great software. I'm not sure what other phone types require to be able to recover deleted texts. I do know that carriers don't keep text messages, or if they do you would need a warrant to obtain them.

We are all different, but we all want the same things.

posts: 4   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2014   ·   location: Charleston SC
id 6847106
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tfkeel ( member #19517) posted at 6:32 PM on Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

I would either have proof that he is being honest and really does want to change or proof that he is still lying and is not worth my time and energy trying to save a marriage that is hopeless

This is really quite a simple matter.

Just tell him to give you his phone and that he can un-delete all those texts IN FRONT OF YOU and show them to you himself.

If he doesn't know how to undelete them, keep his phone, and go with him to the nearest phone service store and have him pay them to undelete them in front of you.

And, that, if he refuses, you are calling a lawyer tomorrow and you are going to FILE, with no possibility that you will ever change your mind.

If he wants to save his marriage, he will comply.

If he doesn't comply, then you have your answer.

[This message edited by tfkeel at 12:34 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]

posts: 1201   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2008   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 6847163
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