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whymewhyus (original poster new member #44038) posted at 11:13 PM on Monday, July 14th, 2014
So he comes home and tells me he needs to talk to me because it's eating him up and he wants to be honest. He said dday #2 wasn't the first time. He said it was several times over the last few months. Some at the lake and some at her house. I am so disgusted right now and I hate him!! How could he do this to me?! I left in an upset crying rage. I can't stand the thought of him. He came home all those times and acted like nothing was wrong and resumed life with me and our D as if nothing happened. As if he didn't just have sex outside our M. What the hell now. I am so angry at him and that Whore because she KNEW he was married and didn't care either. Omg, I am just heartbroken and devastated. I don't know if I can do this anymore.
Me, BS, 30
Him, WS, 32
Married 5 yrs, together since '98. Yep, JR high sweethearts.
1 DD, 12
1st DDay 2/?/2010 EA/PA with coworker. Lasted about 4 mos.
2nd DDay 7/6/2014 EA/PA diff coworker- was going on for few mos. Unsure if it still is.
jb3199 ( member #27673) posted at 11:27 PM on Monday, July 14th, 2014
I understand all your hurt, rage, and pain. I also understand what it is like for your WS to act like everything is normal in the world...while they are busy gutting yours behind your back. While the lowlife AP assists them.
All I can say is that you don't have to take it anymore. And while your option of divorce may sound extreme, it may truly be your escape from this pain. You don't have to do anything today, but I would start being a lot more selfish(in a good way) for your own sanity. As far as I am concerned, this is whymewhyus and daughter's time...and nobody else's. It is time to put yourself out front.
(((whymewhyus)))
BH-50s
WW-50s
2 boys
Married over 30yrs.
All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary PuckettD-Day(s): EnoughAccepting that I can/may end this marriage 7/2/14
1Faith ( member #38975) posted at 12:14 AM on Tuesday, July 15th, 2014
I am sorry he continues to be selfish and hurts you over and over again. I am sending hugs, thoughts and prayers.
(((gently)))
It was eating him up in what way? What does he want? Did he convey this to you? Again, he is treating you and your feelings like a yo-yo.
Your WH has been living a double life for a long time.
The "whore" is part of the equation but remember you did not take your vows with her. You took them with your WH. He is the one that owes you truth, honesty and commitment. He has broken his vows to you over and over again.
It is normal to want to strike out at the OW (Lord knows I did and mentally still do) but focus your hurt and anger where it should be directed. At your WH.
This stops when you say it stops.
Know that we are here. We are rooting you on and that you are not alone.
Many hugs. Take care of YOU. That is all you should do right now. You can't fix him.
[This message edited by 1Faith at 6:14 PM, July 14th (Monday)]
Sometimes my life feels like a test I didn't study for
BlueBlueEyes ( member #43949) posted at 2:58 AM on Tuesday, July 15th, 2014
I'm so sorry. In the same boat with another paddle. It just doesn't end emotionally. I hope you fine peace and know you are worth more than this.
BW - 49
WH - 50
Married 30 years
Beautiful Son, Daughter and 2 Grandsons.
OW - multiple, just found out about ALL of them, Husband coming out of years of fog due to multiple childhood and military events.
Hopeful but cautious
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