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flayed (original poster member #41875) posted at 5:39 PM on Wednesday, July 23rd, 2014
9 months in things are going fairly well in R. Triggered yesterday and I am still floating in a sea of pain. What do you do with the pain of knowing your spouse greatly enjoyed having sex with another???
BS(Me)-39
WH-39
Married 13 yrs, Together 19 yrs
4 kids under 8
2 yr LTA
DDay- Oct.29, 2013
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:57 PM on Wednesday, July 23rd, 2014
Gently, I recommend facing it and feeling it in your body. In my experience, that lets the pain go. It's a lot of pain, though, so it may take a number of iterations of feeling and letting go.
Your pain is real. It's part of the experience. But you have to go through it - your body won't let you bypass it.
(((flayed)))
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
flayed (original poster member #41875) posted at 6:14 AM on Thursday, July 24th, 2014
Thank you Sisoon
I am going to let your wise,kind words sink in. I think the practice will be hard. Harder for me than most because I tend to numb myself emotionally. But I will start.
BS(Me)-39
WH-39
Married 13 yrs, Together 19 yrs
4 kids under 8
2 yr LTA
DDay- Oct.29, 2013
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