SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Every night I have them. Shrink says PTSD last nite was a doozy. I hurt my lower back at gym so I was up

Every few hours. I was so lucky that each time I fell back asleep, I had vivid nitemares- a new one each time.

In my nitemares are everythg that causes me stress or to worry. ( my parents, work,something happening or upsetting my kids, my H w his OW or even people he dated before

We did. Even his boat, which we fought about during A time. A pool, which I always begged to have put in)

I'm exhausted. I wake up like a fought a huge battle during the nite. Then I exist during the day am in bed by 7:30 bc of exhaustion and it happens again

I've tried every sleeping pill. They work in keeping me asleep but I'm hungover and still exhausted next day from vivid nitemares

My H sleeps soundly, hugging his pillow tightly. He kisses me goodbye and heads off to work. He comes home and showers

Then we spend time together few nites a week out for dinner, drinks. He comes home and goes to gym or plays w kids while I relax and read or just exist.

I'm sad and exhausted today. Completely.

I find that when I awake in the middle of the night I read something on my kindle....something mindless....magazines or play solitaire...something to change my thinking....I have never dreamed about the A and for that I am very thankful.....

I also find drinking hot water with a slice of lemon very soothing before bedtime....

when I feel anxious my H and I will say a rosary together...meditation is too hard for me....but trying to just be still and focusing on now is a goal...one moment at a time....

I write.

Last night I wrote a letter that started with

"I hate you." and went on from there

I was able to get it all out and then waited until i got tired and was able to sleep another few hours.

I know what you're saying. PTSD is tiring. I'm tired of the dreams as well.

hugs!

I dream about the A bc OW was heavily intertwined in my life for 8 years. Plus she caused me so much stress and annoyance not including the A

I don't have trouble falling asleep. I have trouble with the nitemares. Meds help me sleep thru them but I wake up so exhausted.

I need peace

I too have the nightmares. I didn't for the first year or so. Maybe bc I rarely slept heavy, I don't know. But, now it's another story. If I get a solid 4 hours of sleep, it's a miracle. I have tried everything but nothing works. I find the best thing for me to do is get up. If I lay there next to my WS, I start to think of all the bad stuff and really get upset. So, I get up and remove myself completely from the room. I read, go on SI, play solitaire anything to try to get my mind off the dreams and bad memories.

The nightmares are horrible. It's hard to recover from them and they are never the same people involved but always along the same line of my H cheating. Another by product of our new normal, I'm afraid.