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Gman1 (original poster member #40879) posted at 2:04 PM on Wednesday, June 3rd, 2015
With all the negative stories and horrible things resulting from infidelity, I thought it may be helpful to some here to write a little success story. I remember the days and months following Dday and wondering to myself if I would ever be able to get past my WW's A and all the associated fallout.
Her A was a long distance EA which resulted in a weekend long PA when they met out of town. About ten days after her trip, her conscious was eating her alive and she confessed the A on her own. I had no idea. She has since been very remorseful, supportive, apologetic, honest and has always answered all of my questions. We went to a great MC who helped us immensely. Our marriage was very good before the A so even happily married people can have A's. The first 6-9 months were hell for me.
Fast forward to two years post Dday and things are just about back to normal. Just lately, I have noticed that I have gone a whole day and not even thought about the A one time for an entire day. It is wonderful progress after so much pain over the last two years.
I think it is important for new BS's to realize that R is possible and success stories do exist. There is hope.
dana1234 ( member #40952) posted at 2:06 PM on Wednesday, June 3rd, 2015
So glad to see positive stories! Thanks for sharing
Me 45 BS
Him 48 WH
Married 20 years, together 25 high school sweethearts
3 Beautiful Children 17,13,13
Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 2:35 PM on Wednesday, June 3rd, 2015
Just lately, I have noticed that I have gone a whole day and not even thought about the A one time for an entire day.
That is awesome right there. Wish I could say the same... hopefully by two years I'll be there too.
BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer
tl502 ( member #42607) posted at 2:42 PM on Wednesday, June 3rd, 2015
Great, gman1! Healing can happen.
Married 35 yrs.
dd1 9/10/2011 ea/pa
DD2 3/25/2013 same ow, never stopped email and phone contact.
Putting the past behind us and moving forward together
Gman1 (original poster member #40879) posted at 3:11 PM on Wednesday, June 3rd, 2015
Notthevictem,
Not having control over one's thoughts and the endless continual mind loop was pure torture. I called it the roulette wheel in my head and it never stopped 24/7 for several months. Glad that finally eased off over time.
You will get there, hopefully sooner than later!
nononsense ( member #45598) posted at 3:22 PM on Wednesday, June 3rd, 2015
Gman
About ten days after her trip, her conscious was eating her alive and she confessed the A on her own. I had no idea. She has since been very remorseful, supportive, apologetic, honest and has always answered all of my questions. We went to a great MC who helped us immensely.
Glad to hear. The above is why you were one step ahead of the game from the start.
Confession on her own, no weeks or months or longer of TT is a lot different than most of the stories.
i got the same EXCEPT no confession, but i caught it early and nothing but 100% on her part since. not as far out as you.
BH - 50 (me)
WW- 48 (her)
M- 27 years
3 daughters- 26, 24, 21
DDay1 7/5/2014 (PA- 2 different OM)
DDay2 11/28/2014- setting up another meeting new OM
5/1/2015- Looks like we are making it.
8/3/2015- Reconciled but watchful
11/10/2015- We made it
Gman1 (original poster member #40879) posted at 12:48 PM on Thursday, June 4th, 2015
Nononsense,
Clearly the WS's actions post D-day are hugely important for chances of R. Had I endured lying, TT, continued contact, a LTA, no remorse, hostility, blame shifting or anything along those lines then I'm not sure we would still be together.
For those who find themselves in that situation I am truly sorry.
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