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STLLOST (original poster member #65656) posted at 3:21 AM on Sunday, May 19th, 2019
I was listening to a book on tape the other day when it started talking about something really interesting that made me stop and go hmmm. It says that we are all hard wired to "win". Ask whatever is going on in our lives what we are winning at. I stopped and thought and realized that i have been saying how stupid i was...I was winning at that. I kept putting myself in a position that i considered was stupid. I kept falling for the hope of reconciliation. The book is called unfu*ck yourself. And it talks about ways to quit sabotaging yourself in everything you do
[This message edited by STLLOST at 7:58 AM, May 20th (Monday)]
Dragonfly123 ( member #62802) posted at 8:44 AM on Sunday, May 19th, 2019
Really interesting. I do wonder that a lot. I’ve always thought the APs cling onto the CS (despite the ridiculousness of their relationship) because they want to ‘win’ their prize, but there’s always been an unpleasant niggle deep down that as a BS I’m doing the same and that the urge to ‘win’ keeps us fighting for something unhealthy for us. You see the cases on here where the BS has won their CS back but then it hits, that maybe just maybe infidelity was a deal breaker for them.
When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That’s where the power is.
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 9:07 AM on Sunday, May 19th, 2019
Or what may have initially looked like a win turned out to be a loss.
Maybe it's just me but it seems like the ratio of false R's and multiple ddays are fairly high.
Scoobydoo ( member #70007) posted at 9:40 AM on Sunday, May 19th, 2019
After the 1st Dday more than 20 yrs ago I may of thought it was a win when I won the 'prize'
it would be funny if it wasn't so sad.
Toooo many Dday's over 27 yrs,
Separated from Scooby 'Dum' 19/08/2019
Before you diagnose yourself with depression, or low self esteem,
First make sure you are not surrounded by an Asshole/s.
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