SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi, I apologize if this question has already been asked here.. I am on an iPhone and having a hard time searching.

I know every case is different but am curious what to expect (in general terms) regarding the distribution of assets and Alimony here in the USA.

Let’s say hypothetically:

Married for 24 years

A 401k of $500 000

House has equity of $500 000

Husband makes $100 000 a year

Wife makes $25 000 a year

Does the law state that the wife must get 50% of the assets?

What do we expect the alimony to be?

How long will that Alimony be in place?

I know the calc for Alimony in Florida is 30% of husband gross - 20% of wife’s gross.

How does No Politics new tax plan impact this calculation, where before Alimony was tax deductible (and now it’s not).

Again, I know that each case is different but in general terms, based on the above... what do we expect the numbers to be?

Thanks in advance

[This message edited by SI Staff at 1:25 PM, December 6th (Friday)]

what state are you in?

what state are you in?

Florida

My ex and I had the same disparity of income. Only a 10 yr marriage (no children). I asked for alimony so that I could go back and get my degree. I was denied (Michigan).

It depends heavily on your State's laws and your particular judge... assuming that you go to a trial. If you settle, then the judge will pretty much approve anything.

In general (and there are exceptions), the courts are going to "no fault" (i.e., the reason for the divorce is not considered) and all marital assets are split evenly.

So, take retirement accounts... split in half. Home equity... split in half. Small, less important things... split in half.

The courts are also getting away from alimony. The idea behind alimony these days is to compensate a spouse who sacrificed his/her career trajectory for the sake of the marriage and/or kids. The basic idea is that you are an adult and you should be able to take care of yourself. There are exceptions to really long marriages and for disabilities etc. The rule of thumb is that alimony is paid for half of the marriage, but that rule of thumb seems to be shorter and shorter all of time. All three of my lawyers, for example, felt that 5 years of alimony would be appropriate for my 15-year marriage... in contrast, STBXW is asking for 12 years.

And again, all of this can be argued and manipulated... which is why we have judges and mediators.

Every battle is won long before it is fought.

Careful planning will be the key to mitigating the situation.

The value of the proper attorney/s cannot be understated.

I'd recommend seeing a lawyer in your state and asking what the most likely outcome would be.

In my case, we were married 11 years, no kids, and I paid for him to go to medical school (over $100k) plus I just found out I was losing my job and would be lucky to find a job making 70% of what I'd been making.

Even though I thought I deserved alimony (since he wouldn't have been a doctor without my support - financial and nonfinancial) I was told that in my state, there was no chance of me getting alimony. I just had to consider myself to have been a scholarship fund to my WH. In my state, you need to be married at least 16 years (for it to be considered long-term marriage) and you'd likely then get 1/3 of the time of the marriage.

Essentially, courts/states are moving towards adults supporting themselves. Child support in my state is a straight formula.

I saw two or three different lawyers (I forget now) and each told me the same thing. I could have tried to take my case to the state supreme court since the facts of my case were rather unusual, but I didn't want to be mired in divorce forever, so just rolled over.

Florida has a set precedent for this.

This is a long term marriage. You will get life time alimony deducting the 25,000 a year from the .30.

Long term marriage—you will get half of thre 401k. Plus someone will buy someone out of the house.

For the 401K. If you had any portion awarded/saved before the marriage. There will be a calculation of this portion being yours. The rest will be split in half.

Most likely she will be awarded your life insurance settlement

You do not want the house. Make her sell it and give you liquid assets.

The 401 K needs to be awarded ina qudro.

Google financially planning in a divorce.

Good luck.

[This message edited by Iwantmyglasses at 10:29 PM, December 10th (Tuesday)]

I'm in Florida too.

From my experience, regarding alimony, your STBX will have to show what her monthly expenses are and what she would need in order to get her to a level where she could live a relatively stable life. Then you would have to match that difference. Since your M was over 17 years she is entitled to lifetime alimony. HOWEVER, you can put her infidelity on the table and argue for an expiration date on alimony. This puts the onus on her to get herself to the financial status that she needs to be. She wants her freedom, then she needs to earn it.

Arguing for limited alimony would depend largely on your judge and how well you could prove her infidelity. In my case, we were doing an uncontested D and my XWW seemed to simply comply with whatever I was asking, so long as it was reasonable.

I agree you shouldn't keep the house. If she decides to stay in it, this could put you on the hook for continually having to pay for it through alimony. Put it in the agreement that she must sell the house and that you split the sales.

As for 401K's, I had to split mine with my X and they were valuated at the time the D was effective. I'm still dealing with that today.

Are you doing a collaborative divorce or are you planning to go to trial?

Hi, apologies for the lateness of my response.

Are you doing a collaborative divorce or are you planning to go to trial?

We are collaborating (with our own lawyers) and hoping to not go to trial... however, if the alimony is too high and/or the duration is too long I will go to trial where the infidelity will be an issue (although I do understand that it is a no fault state, when you go to trial these things are brought up and discussed with the judge).

The value of the proper attorney/s cannot be understated.

I was feeling that I didn't choose the right lawyer so phoned another lawyer that I really liked, he basically said the other lawyer wasn't doing anything wrong and I shouldn't change. I wanted a lawyer who would say things like "Forget her! I'm going to fight until the death for you!" etc. etc. However it seems these only exist on tv and the movies.

This is a long term marriage. You will get life time alimony deducting the 25,000 a year from the .30.

This is where I get a little confused.. so 30% of 100000 is 30000, the statement above seems to indicate that it will be 30000 minus 25000 which would mean my alimony would be 5000 a year ?

Is it not, 30% - 20% so my alimony would be 30,000 - 5,000 (20% of WW salary) = 20,000 alimony ?

Alimony using the original figures would be 30% of $100k ($30k) minus 20% of $25k ($5k) for a total of $25k per year. If you think in terms of final numbers, these calculations would result in a much more equal distribution of the total income between the two ($125k) with the person earning $100k coming out with $75k/year and the person earning $25k/year coming out with $50k/year.

Alimony using the original figures would be 30% of $100k ($30k) minus 20% of $25k ($5k) for a total of $25k per year. If you think in terms of final numbers, these calculations would result in a much more equal distribution of the total income between the two ($125k) with the person earning $100k coming out with $75k/year and the person earning $25k/year coming out with $50k/year.

So she gets a $25K raise for being an absolutely horrible POS to OP........just great!

she gets a $25K raise for being an absolutely horrible POS to OP........just great!

It's the opposite of a raise. She would be going from a combined income of $125K to $50K. That's a $75K reduction.

I do get what you mean, though.