I cannot recall any specific thread, but if you spend time here reading, you will find answers for what it takes.
I feel like a lot of this depends on what your BS is willing to accept from you, if that makes sense. Where they are in their recovery and healing.
It takes years for most to restore the marriage and it's both parties putting a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into that work.
It's not an easy job. Not an easy answer.
It's so devastating when you comprehend exactly what we take from them when we cheat, and that flame you are trying to light in particular is emotionally hard for them to restore under the best circumstances in the aftermath. It's like trying to light a damp wick.
Just keep putting in the work with one end goal, you become a healthy individual suitable for a healthy relationship and in doing that, there is hope for your M and all the greatness that comes with a good M.
