As many of you have noted in my post history, it's been a "fun" process. Well, I finally made her decide dude or me. And if it's dude she needs to move out. Her answer came during MC today. So, she's starting the process of moving out. In-home separation isn't working for me, so it's time for physical separation.
She's already started packing. We are telling the kids tomorrow most likely. MC suggested we don't push the older kids to play house swap and we agree. Most likely the little one will have sleepovers with Mom. Not sure all the logistics yet.
In some ways this is a relief. It will let me start to move on without the distraction of obsessing over what she's doing.
I'm more sad than mad. That her state of mind makes it ok to her to just toss away a 20 year friendship for someone she has known for less than a year.
I'm planning that divorce will happen much later. Financially, it's just not a good time to do that. The oldest will be graduating this spring. Maybe once she's out of the house, we will do the divorce stuff. But I'm not in a rush unless she is.
And yes, I did say that IF she decides to want to work something out, that I will listen. But I'm not jumping. At this point she needs to be almost crawling so to speak.
Meanwhile, we co parent. I think we both want to keep the kids as happy as possible. Just because their mom is a lying cheat, doesn't mean she's not a good mom. Shes not a bad person, just doing bad things.