Hello, SI friends…
As usual, so much has happened between my posts. I really appreciate all the responses about various issues, including, but not limited to incarcerated sons, dying pets, gunshot wounds, etc. So, as an update…
- As I told you earlier, my youngest son is home from being incarcerated for four years. I don’t always have a great deal of confidence in my gut, but for all I can tell he is doing amazingly well. Within two weeks of being home, he was enrolled in barber school and is thriving there. He also has a job… Just something temporary like working on a dock or something. I let him know that I would help him out while he was in school, but he has chosen to go to school part time so that he can work. He believes that his partner has done more than her share for so long that he simply must contribute. He and she are doing great. His son (age 5) is of course ‘over the moon’ that Daddy is back. Christmas - with him and his family - was incredibly wonderful.
- My middle son still struggles with alcohol/drug use but on a much smaller scale. He drinks a couple of canned cocktails from time to time and I think smokes weed. Nothing I guess that would be considered excessive for anyone else. I thank God every day for interlock. At least I know that he won’t be driving his vehicle while under the influence of anything. He is still in a relationship with a completely negative, narcissistic person. He has told me before that he knows she is not good for him, but that he would rather be with her than with no one at all. There is nothing I have ever been able to say to make him see that situation more clearly, so I have let it go. After their last blow up, which resulted in his incarceration for DUI… I don’t call her by name and I don’t speak about her to him. But he knows she is not welcome in our home. He seems to appreciate my silence with regard to her. We have gotten along a little better recently. I strongly feel that his mental health issues desperately need counseling, but he says that he has court ordered counseling and doesn’t want to seek anything further.
- My oldest son has had a rough go of it lately. I can’t remember when, but six or more months ago I might’ve mentioned to you all that he shot himself in the leg. He was taking apart (or something) a new handgun he had purchased. Evidently it is known for having a faulty "slide" if I am using the correct terminology. As he pulled it back, it malfunctioned and something pinched the skin between his thumb and four finger. As he jerked his hand back, the gun went off into his leg, just above his knee and came out the backside of his calf. Thankfully, there was minimal damage. Thankfully, he healed nicely. About a month after he was mostly healed from the gunshot wound, he wrecked his motorcycle. A friend who was riding alongside him, somehow slid into his back tire, which made the bike lie down. My son, then of course, separated from the bike and it plowed into a huge brick mailbox and knocked it into. The police told him that they had seen many accidents like his where no one survived. He broke his ankle and had really deep wounds on his elbow, shoulder, and knee, along with lots of road rash. His ankle is healed nicely, and although he’s got a couple of nasty scars, he’s going to be fine.
We did have a HUGE issue on Christmas Eve. For the life of me, I can’t remember how it started, but he completely lost his shit. He was screaming and cursing, and in my face, he left and said he wanted no part of Christmas. That he was moving out.My granddaughter was in the next room and I’m certain that she heard the whole thing. I can’t remember feeling pain like that since my husband‘s death. The next morning, I heard him in the shower. I knocked on the door, and told him that his daughter was really wanting to spend Christmas with him and that I hoped he would join us. He came in my room to apologize. VERY long story short, he said that about a year before my husband passed away, he spoke with my son and told him that "someday there will come a time when I will be gone, and you will have to step up". My husband told him that he wanted him to work hard to bring the family back together. And by the family, he meant the extended family with cousins and aunts, etc., as well as with his brothers. I knew nothing of this conversation. My son has been dealing with his grief as well as that responsibility for a year and a half now. No excuse, but it explained a lot. Don’t know what my husband was thinking.
- My sweet Jackie Chan (17 yr old black lab \ jack russel mix) is still hanging in there. Still getting around, eating, and chillin’. I still hope for a sign when it’s time to help her on.
I am very much enjoying my memorial rock garden. The one with close deceased family members being remembered with a stone with their first name engraved on it - placed in a landscaped area in my back yard. I have my name on a stone next to my husband’s…engraved part down. I have told my sons to turn over the stone when the time comes. I spend time out there in early mornings when weather permits. It’s a positive thing.
I also have a project in the works to have a labyrinth placed in a field at my church - a memorial for my husband.
I hope you all are doing as well as is possible these days. Please know that I think of you often, even if my lack of posting doesn’t show it. 😏
