AdLarue17 (original poster member #84917) posted at 3:21 PM on Thursday, May 21st, 2026
It's been a long time since I've been active on this site. However, as I am now on the 2 year anniversary of D-Day, I felt the need to vent to people who understand.
It's hard to believe that it's been two years since my life blew up. But that's exactly what happened. He blew up our lives together. And now life looks so different and will continue to look different. We are still separated. Divorce will be final in August. He is living in an RV in the driveway of our home for a few more weeks until we put the house on the market. Hopefully, it will sell fast and I can move into a new place with just my daughters. And my new life will officially begin. Which I am looking forward to. I want this to be over.
Some days, I feel ok. I know I can do this and I love my girls and my friends and everything will be ok. And then, I have moments where I remember specific details of his betrayal and the pain is still breathtaking. I don't cry as much as I did previously, but I still cry more than I would like.
I feel a lot of anger now more than sadness. Anger that he did this to our family but also anger at myself that I kept trying to make things work for so long after D-Day. If I had walked away then, would I be more healed now? I'll never know.
I'm also angry at certain people in my life (which also makes me feel guilty), people who have been supportive of me this whole time but now seem to think I should be fine. It's been two years, you're getting divorced, move on already! But honestly, I still feel like I'm barely holding my head above water while they sit on pool floats and shout encouraging euphemisms. I can know that I'm doing the right thing now (divorce) and still be sad that my life isn't what I planned for it to be. Both things are true even if they feel like opposites.
I remember when D-Day first happened and I immersed myself in all things infidelity: books, podcasts, this site. I remember reading that it took 2-5 years to heal from an affair. I remember thinking and telling my therapist, "I can't do this for two years, let alone five!!" But I have done it. The last two years have been the worst of my life and I made it through. I may not be as healed as I would like or as people in my life would like, but I'm still here. That has to count for something.
