SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I am over two years out from D-Day during which my wife revealed she had cheated on me 30 years earlier during our engagement.

We are doing very well thank God. She is wonderful with respect recovery. Things are good.

Yet, there are moments. I just had a vivid vision of the betrayal (which was one night - physical but not sex). I have a very vivid imagination that can picture things quite clearly. It is a blessing and curse I suppose.

But I will tell you, when that moment hit, it still hurts inside. I am guessing it always will. What came to mind thinking about it ... is this feeling of "insignificance". Not insignificance in the sense of not being of value, but being insignificant to the one person you thought you were their most important person.

If you feel such things as this, I want you to know I hear you, I feel with you. Hug to you brother or sister. ❤️

WoodThrush,

The "feeling" of being insignificant is a tough feeling that can easily spread into a self-belief that one is insignificant in general. I know I sure struggled with that one. But what you write is a perfect example of how it is a "feeling" not a fact. However, pertaining to your wife, and mine as well, it was not only just a "feeling" of insignificant, in their eyes and actions it was a fact.

The good news is, that, if a wayward self-reflects, that destination that they made relegating their spouse to a place of being only an "asterisk" in their life’s story can be changed.

I am glad to read that that appears to be the case for you.

Asterisk

Oh, I feel it. Only when it happened to me it was after almost 27 years of marriage. Plenty long enough for me to feel about as safe as a person could feel in a relationship. To say it was shocking and jarring is a massive understatement. That feeling of being insignificant, replaceable, unimportant, not worthy, pick your descriptor hits so much harder, imo. So yes, I completely understand what you're conveying here.